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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320189">Don't Let Me Go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyhawk_lhflu/pseuds/Ladyhawk_lhflu'>Ladyhawk_lhflu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Giant Spiders, Kidnapping, Love, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Presumed Dead, Suicidal Thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:48:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320189</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyhawk_lhflu/pseuds/Ladyhawk_lhflu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It started with a funeral for their Burglar and a visit to Mirkwood. Then the strangeness Thorin felt began to expand.</p>
<p>Luckily, a soul with a penchant for getting lost is the perfect one to find a stolen Burglar.</p>
<p>Thorin could only hope he was also enough to heal the wounds that said Burglar suffered.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>131</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Thorin is Lost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I believe this will be shorter than my last one, but don't hold me to it. Editing will go the same as it did last time. I edit as I go, so feel free to point out anything that needs fixing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even as he raised his hands to ask Mahal for a blessing upon the Burglar, Thorin thought to himself 'This isn't right.'</p><p>It wasn't that Bilbo didn't deserve blessings. He deserved all that could be given. The hobbit had saved Erebor. He had saved the line of Durin. He had even saved the trade negotiations with Mirkwood and Dale. For all the two non-Dwarrow rulers had needed to do to stop Thorin from leaving the negotiation table was ask, "Would Bilbo want you to do that?"</p><p>No, the wrongness was that the King Under the Mountain was asking for the blessing while looking at the tattered jacket that was given to Bilbo by the (now deceased) Master of Laketown. <em>Only</em> the jacket. That was all that Tharkun had been able to find.</p><p>For this, Thorin did not blame the wizard. No matter what animosity Thorin had with the wizard, he knew that Tharkun adored the hobbit, as they all did. He would have prevented harm if he could. If he had been able to find the Burglar, he would have brought him to Erebor, or would have taken him to the Shire perhaps, so that his path to the Green Lady's garden would be properly opened for him.</p><p>As it was, even Tharkun had been angry that the jacket had been all that was found. But he had been unable to endure the twisted areas of Mirkwood to search further. And they all knew that the spiders that took their hobbit had most likely used him as food.</p><p>So the wizard had returned to Erebor and its recovering King with the jacket. For the hobbits of the Shire would have understood the loss of one of their own, but they would not have understood what the jacket meant. They would not have understood that their kinsman deserved a place in the Dwarven Halls of Ancestors as well as in Yavanna's garden.</p><p>Once the King's appeal was done, Ori came forward to lay the first flowers of spring on the jacket, two yellow roses that had somehow survived on the road to Dale. Bard had said it was much too early for roses to bloom. But there they were when the Kings had gone out to find fitting tribute for the one who had given so much. Each King had handled their flower carefully until it could be given to the Master Scribe for the proper placement on the jacket.</p><p>As Thorin had told of the deeds of the Burglar and his strengths to appeal to Mahal, Ori told of his friendship to the Company and his attempts to keep war from happening, to appeal to Yavanna.</p><p>Then Ori looked Thorin straight in the eye before the mourning paces began. "And he loved! He left to return to the Shire because he loved his home. But also know this truth: He left because he did not want to burden his beloved. For the King Under the Mountain needed to focus on his people. One small hobbit was not worth putting them at risk a second time."</p><p>With a sob, Thorin dropped to one knee in front of the burial stone on which the jacket laid. He absorbed those last words Bilbo had whispered to Ori and let them lodge in heart. In a way, they were an appeal to him. So he would honor Bilbo's request to be a good King.</p><p>After he mourned his One in the traditional way. He could not say the words that had stuck in his throat as Bilbo had left them to return home. But he could stay on one knee in front of the burial stone as the Company and the people of Dale went through the mourning paces around him.</p><p>----</p><p>The arrival of the caravan from Ered Luin heralded the beginning of the new Erebor. For the families, merchants and miners were truly what made the kingdom grand.</p><p>Thorin's family was no exception. The arrival of his sister, Dis, gave the kingdom wisdom beyond his own, beyond Balin's. And he was grateful for it. He was also grateful that Kili and Fili dared not go against their mother when she demanded that they begin learning how to help Thorin rule.</p><p>The wise demands of Dis extended to him as well.</p><p>"You need to meet with the Elvenking," she said. "He has heard that Master Baggins had called you beloved. So he wishes to speak to you, to help Erebor in the name of the Burglar. He also invited you to help drive back the spiders where Master Baggins was taken. His son and Tauriel have found it an adequate way to grieve."</p><p>Dis handed Thorin the missive from Thranduil. The King read it over, then nodded. "I will take Kili, so that he may visit with his elf."</p><p>"Take Nori and Bofur as well. If you are right about your hobbit, he would prefer that his worldly goods be in your hands or the hands of his friends. They don't belong with the spiders. The spy and the miner both have keen eyes. If there are any of the Burglar's objects to spot, they will find them." Dis rewove Thorin's left braid, allowing him to hide the tears that fell by bowing his head.</p><p>"We will leave in the morning," the King whispered. "I will stop in Dale to tell Bard of our journey. I know he cannot join us. Dale is barely habitable still. But perhaps his words regarding the trip will make it fruitful."</p><p>"If you do find anything, share with the King of Dale, whether it be a precious item or a tale he does not know. It will give you both a starting point when you meet across the table again." Dis cupped her brother's cheek and stroked the short hairs there. "First this was for Erebor, now you keep it short to lament your lack of words to him. When will you be whole?"</p><p>"If he were alive and I had courage, I most likely would be whole without growing my beard longer. Ori said he admired mine most of all."</p><p>"He had none at all?" Dis asked, amazed. When Thorin shook his head, she smiled. "To keep it short to please your One, that I would accept."</p><p>"I wish it could be so." Thorin sighed.</p><p>----</p><p>The trip to Dale was as expected. Bard regretted that he could not help the elves keep the spiders from taking over the forest. He also welcome any item or tale of Bilbo, no matter how small. So in the interest of good relations, Bofur told him of Bilbo's trick with the trolls. It had been the clearest of the hobbit's shining moments, and one that invoked laughter as well as fright.</p><p>To see Bard's children laugh at the tale was soothing to the wound in Thorin's heart.</p><p>After a day and a night in Dale, the small group continued on to Mirkwood. Thranduil was not as expected. The death of the hobbit seemed to weigh on the Elvenking almost as much as it weighed on Thorin.</p><p>So Thorin told Thranduil the tale of Bilbo's use of his wine barrels. The weight on both of them lifted slightly as the Elvenking's face went from outrage to laughter to horror (when Thorin revealed that Bilbo could not swim) and back to laughter again when they made it into Bard's house in Laketown.</p><p>In return, Thranduil told Thorin of Bilbo's last day. Of how satisfied he had been to help his friends retrieve and defend their home. Of how he longed for the green hills of the Shire. Of a secret sadness Bilbo would not reveal to the elves, but sought to shake himself of by pointing out where he and the Company defended themselves from the spiders. Bilbo and Tauriel had hoped that their main nest was not far from that spot.</p><p>Bilbo had been caught off-guard, the Elvenking's son said. He and Tauriel both plowed ahead to find the hobbit the moment they saw him taken. But somehow, the number of spiders in the area kept multiplying. They kept pushing the elves back. Until they could no longer follow the trail of the one that had Bilbo.</p><p>But still they searched. Two nights and three days. That was how long it took to find Bilbo's jacket, even with a small army of elves and a wizard at their command. For even they could not spend long periods of time in the areas the spiders made their home. The dizziness and confusion forced them to stop after only an hour or two. Someone came to resume the search every time, but still it slowed the search, and made it more difficult. When the wizard finally found the jacket, Tauriel had wailed. For she knew that was all they would find, even though the search continued on for a few days more. The forest had spoken. It would not give up what they sought.</p><p>Thorin bowed his head at the end of Thranduil's tale, but this time he did not hide his tears. For those around him shared them. It was as if the table they sat at was Bilbo's burial stone. There was no shame in their grief, for Bilbo would not allow it. Instead there was an agreement to seek the spider's nest to try to keep it from harming another.</p><p>The next day, the four dwarves set out with with the elves to seek the nest. Legolas took them to the last place the spiders had been seen. But he also warned them. Orcs had been seen near here as well. Orcs usually avoided the spiders, but they had begun to get bolder. That made this trip all the more dangerous. The group then pledged to work together quickly so they would not be lost and their efforts would not be in vain.</p><p>But of course Thorin got lost. There was no stone around him to guide his way.</p><p>He didn't realize it until he heard the whispers. "Get the toy." "The toy shall sting it!" Then he heard clicking and scrabbling that made him whip his head around. That had been the last thing he heard before he woke in a blanket of webs the last time he had been here.</p><p>The King could see two of the spiders out of the corner of his eye. But they were too far away to use his sword on them. Still, he unsheathed Orcrist. He didn't want to be taken by surprise by spiders, or orcs.</p><p>He tried to find the way back to the others, but before he could take more than a few steps, Orcrist began to glow. So he waved it in front of him as he walked, preparing to end an orc before it ended him. A moment later, he felt the sword hit something solid, metallic. His eyes focused, but he could not see anything touching his sword --except a blue outline of what could be a smaller blade, not too much bigger than a letter opener.</p><p>Thorin gasped. How could this be? Bilbo's Sting, in ghostly form?!</p><p>He thought this truth as he took a step to defend against the weapon. He heard the whisper again. "The toy stings it!" He took another step, trying to drive back whatever held the blade.</p><p>But then he paused, because he could feel weight pressing against his right boot. Familiar weight. He closed his eyes as he imagined the sight that he should have been able to see. A foot, bigger than his, about as bare as his face.</p><p>He opened his eyes and stared down at his boot as he felt that imagined foot flex against the leather.  The King gasped again, not believing and yet wanting to believe. His One was a ghost?!</p><p>No. Ghosts did not have weight! There had to be another explanation.</p><p>Then he remembered the hobbit's gold trinket. He had only seen it twice. Once in the Elvenking's prison and once on Ravenhill, when Bilbo had come to help him. It had disappeared into the hobbit's pocket quickly. But it had been clear to Thorin that the ring made Bilbo invisible. On Ravenhill, he had also noted in his dazed dreamy state that the hobbit wore it on <em>his sword hand.</em></p><p>So Thorin quickly judged where Sting's hilt would be and wrapped his free hand in a piece of his cloak to ward against the ring reigniting his goldsickness. Then he reached out as he held the other blade steady with Orcrist.</p><p>The ring was right where he expected. He yanked at it. The finger shifted easily to allow it, much too easily. His One had been weakened somehow.</p><p>He heard a whimper, but did not allow it to affect him as he pulled the ring off and threw it towards the spider's nest he could see a few feet away.</p><p>Then he grabbed at his now visible One before the hobbit could fall to the ground as he fainted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Bilbo is Found</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thorin quickly bundled Bilbo in his arms and under his cloak, then called out "Kili!"</p><p>"Indad, where are you? Did you find something?!" Kili shouted back from somewhere behind him. </p><p>"Yes, be on your guard. There are orcs nearby. But I need you and an elf to come quickly!" Thorin could not pick up either sword with the hobbit in his arms. And he was afraid to put his One down for fear that he would somehow disappear. But Bilbo needed a healer, and defense if the healing needed to be done before they returned to Thranduil's chambers.</p><p>So Thorin sighed with relief as Kili appeared quickly at his left side with Tauriel.</p><p>"What did you find, Uncle?" the young dwarf asked curiously as he spied the bundle in the King's arms. Then Thorin shifted Bilbo more comfortably against him. As he did, a shock of dirt-matted golden curls peeked out from under his cloak. Kili's eyes went wide. "Is it--"</p><p>Thorin nodded. "He came to attack me, then fainted. I do not think he was aware of who I am." For some reason, the King did not speak of the ring. Perhaps it was because the trinket had somehow helped cause the pain his One was suffering. For he heard the pain in the whimper the hobbit let out before he removed the ring. He felt it in the shivers that coursed through Bilbo's body even in unconsciousness.</p><p>Kili reached out to touch Bilbo's hair. "He was here the whole time?"</p><p>"I believe so. I heard voices refer to his blade, and to him. They called him a toy." Thorin shook his head then looked up at Tauriel. "Only the spiders were near. Can they speak?"</p><p>Tauriel knelt in front of the King and carefully turned the hobbit without breaking Thorin's hold on him. "We know they have voice and some cunning. But their voices make no sense to elvish ears. How is it that you heard them?"</p><p>"I do not know. I first heard them right after I saw the glow of Bilbo's blade." As Thorin gestured with his head to the ground where it lay with Orcrist, Kili bent to pick them both up. The blades still glowed.</p><p>"We must hurry," Tauriel said as she took in the swords' warning. "The others are near. I believe your kin have found a few of Bilbo's possessions. We must prepare to leave here." She looked at Bilbo's face, then quickly grabbed some moss from beneath a tree. Waving Kili a few steps back, she fed it to Bilbo (who had awakened), then turned his head towards the ground. A few moments later, the foulest black liquid streamed from the hobbit's mouth. It was so foul that the King had to remind himself not to move, lest he lose his grip on the heaving hobbit.</p><p>"That is the best I can do until we get back. It will not stop the poison from giving him visions or fouling his body. But ridding him of any of it will make the healing easier, and it is best to rid him of it as soon as possible." Tauriel gave Thorin a sympathetic look. "He may fight you as his visions frighten him."</p><p>The elf's words rang true as Bilbo suddenly pulled himself out of Thorin's arms and hurried to the spider's nest. The King turned to go after him. </p><p>Thorin was glad when Bilbo stopped to pick up his trinket. That pause let the Dwarrow scoop the hobbit up, even as he twisted and fought to get away. </p><p>"Put it in your pocket," Thorin whispered, somehow understanding that the ring meant much to Bilbo.</p><p>The words stopped Bilbo's attempts to break free, but a moment later, his visions seemed to possess him again. "Do you not want to use me as the rest of the spiders have?!" the hobbit yelled.</p><p>Oddly, Bilbo did slip the ring into the breast pocket of his quite filthy shirt just as the others ran towards them. When they came near, the hobbit renewed his efforts to get away from Thorin.</p><p>"What was that yelling?" Nori exclaimed. "Whoever made that sound is bound to bring the orcs running to us!" On his shoulder was Bilbo's pack, tattered and covered in muck. The spy's expression did not change as he looked towards his King and the struggling hobbit, but as Bilbo started to tire, he took a step towards them.</p><p>Bofur came up to Thorin as he stared at something in his hand. "Thorin, look, I found Bilbo's acorn--" He looked up to hold it out to Thorin, then gasped as he saw its owner in the King's arms.</p><p>"Do not touch him," Thorin whispered as Bofur could not help but reach out to the hobbit. "He does not know us. The spider's poison has harmed his mind."</p><p>Bofur backed away quickly. Nori stopped in his tracks.</p><p>Thorin heard elvish being spouted over his head, but paid it no mind until Tauriel knelt down again. "My King agrees that you should be the one to carry him back. He has listened to your whisper once. That may be a good sign. We will defend you both if the orcs come out of hiding. But do not let him go. His life's essence is weak. If we had found him later, he might not have fought you. He would not have survived out here more than a month more."</p><p>Thorin tightened his grip on Bilbo, who suddenly stopped thrashing and seemed to fall unconscious once again. Tauriel turned the hobbit towards her and sighed as she gazed on the quiescent face. "He is quite exhausted. It is worrisome, but it will aid you in the walk back. Keep him as warm as possible and be prepared for him to expel more poison."</p><p>"Then we will need to walk slowly," Thorin lamented. He wanted Bilbo away from the threat of orcs and into a healer's room. But the pauses would be necessary too, as they had some distance to that room.</p><p>"Yes, but I will walk by your side and the rest will create a circle around you. His safety is our first concern." Tauriel unsheathed her daggers as everyone took their places around Thorin, with Thranduil leading the way.</p><p>----</p><p>The trek back to Thranduil's chambers seemed to take forever. Thorin kept his steps slow but steady. The group surrounding him kept pace easily. That made it simpler to stop when Bilbo needed to let go of more poison.</p><p>Thorin shuddered each of the three times it was necessary. The poison smelled and looked putrid. Its expulsion made the hobbit weaker and paler. So he was grateful when the group finally arrived at their destination.</p><p>The Dwarrow somewhat reluctantly handed his One over to the elves. Since he would only be in the way of their ministrations, Tauriel promised to stay with Bilbo and help with the healing.</p><p>So Thorin went to find his kin. He took the acorn from Bofur and stored it in his money pouch with reverence he usually reserved for precious gems. He helped Nori look through the pack so they could save anything precious to the hobbit and place it in a cleaner sack.</p><p>The small bedroll. the handkerchiefs Ori had made, and oddly, a single gold coin were transferred to the elvish sack. The shirt and pants, however, were completely covered in filth from the spiders' nest and were given to Legolas to be burnt.</p><p>When they were finished, the four Dwarrow went to join Thranduil in the dining hall.</p><p>There, the Elvenking told them something about the spiders that they had not known before.</p><p>"The spiders came to Greenwood not long after I settled here. Many say they were drawn to my arrogance and my slow neglect of the place I came to call home. But my true neglect came after the loss of my wife." Thranduil sipped his wine after he choked on the last word. "So I believe they were drawn to the hobbits that used to live on the west edge of Mirkwood."</p><p>"Hobbits?!" The four Dwarrow exclaimed almost in unison.</p><p>"Yes, Stoor hobbits, half a head taller than your beloved," Thranduil acknowledged with a nod to Thorin. "But small enough and mild enough to be of use to the spiders."</p><p>"What do they use them for?" Bofur asked hesitantly.</p><p>"Capturing prey," the Elvenking replied. "They would poison the hobbit's mind so it would obey them, then they would plant it at the edge of the forest to lure other hobbits to them. That was what they were doing to Mister Baggins. But it is puzzling. The hobbits left the area long ago, so the creatures should not need a lure. Unless they were using him to lure the orcs. The poison within him was darker than I've seen before."</p><p>Thorin shuddered at the thought of his One luring orcs to feed the spiders. Although he knew Bilbo could stand his ground with those filthy creatures, he had still been at risk of death each time the spiders used their 'toy'.</p><p>But then Nori asked the question that Thorin, if he had not been lost in worry about Bilbo, would have posed. "Have you rescued other hobbits? You know what the poison looks like."</p><p>"I tried," Thranduil returned with a sigh. "None survived, even when the Lord of Rivendell came to help me."</p><p>"But Bilbo..." Thorin's voice wavered on the thought he did not want to contemplate.</p><p>"Is the strongest hobbit that I have ever seen. And yes, I have sent a missive to Elrond. He is on his way, by eagle if I am not mistaken. He brings Mithrandir with him. We will do everything possible. Yet I urge you to sit with your beloved once my healers finish. For I do not know if it will be enough."</p><p>Just then, Tauriel came into the dining hall. "We are finished, Your Majesty. We must wait for Lord Elrond to proceed further." </p><p>The Elvenking nodded. "Take the Dwarves in to him. Perhaps their presence can soothe him. At the very least, they can prepare him for death."</p><p>Thorin bristled at Thranduil's words. Bilbo couldn't die now! But he then took a deep breath before he followed Kili's elf. The Elvenking was doing all he could for Bilbo, and yet he feared the hobbit's death.</p><p>So Thorin went to the healer's room with tears shining in his eyes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Where is Home?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*Warning*: in this chapter there is a mention of suicidal thoughts. Easy enough to skip over if it is troublesome, and carefully vague. I considered it appropriate for what Bilbo was going through.<br/></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bilbo looked upon Thorin's face at the front entrance of Erebor. The tears in his eyes obscured his vision, yet he still could feel the piercing blue gaze upon him. All he could think as he felt the weight of that gaze was 'Don't let me go. Don't let me go.'</p><p>But Thorin only bid him a safe journey as the hobbit stood in front of him. So Bilbo took that as his answer. Though they had shared many things on the journey, the shared looks that the hobbit thought were also shared affection were actually an illusion.</p><p>Bilbo gave a short nod in acknowledgement. He would go back to the Shire then, rather than be a burden by staying in Erebor. It would allow Thorin to focus on restoring the mountain to its former glory, and give Bilbo much needed separation to allow his heart to heal.</p><p>But before he left, he told Ori of his heart's wound, in a whispered aside. For someone needed to know how beloved the King Under the Mountain was, and who better than the scribe? Ori could hide it in a book about Thorin's rule, to help future Dwarrow understand the one who had restored their kingdom.</p><p>In a way, it was Bilbo's gift to Thorin. Love without expectations or demands would help the King's people love him more.</p><p>After the goodbyes to the Dwarrow, the hobbit and the wizard took their leave. It was a tense start of the journey. Bilbo proceeded to ignore all of Gandalf's questions about why he wanted to go home during the winter and why he seemed so sad. It wasn't worth the effort to explain. Nothing could be done about the weight around Bilbo's heart.</p><p>When the pair arrived in Mirkwood, Bilbo found himself on the receiving end of inquisitive glares all around. It was as if the elves were trying to pluck his secret out of him. He endured them for a few days, answering questions about the Shire or the journey to Erebor, but little else. But on the day before they were to leave, the knowing glances became too much to bear. So he decided to make himself useful and take a few of the elves to where the spiders' nest lay.</p><p>Although the Elvenking had been relatively kind during this stay, Bilbo much preferred the company of his son and of Kili's intended, Tauriel. So their conversation lightened his heart a bit as they walked to the area where the spiders made their home.</p><p>The conversation continued until they came to the secondary nest (or so Bilbo thought. It seemed rather small to be the main one). Legolas saw some of the spiders scurrying in the branches of the trees overhead. So, after making sure Bilbo had his sword and his pack (which he brought along in case they needed to stay the night out here. That happened occasionally, even to the elves, when they became too disoriented to find their way home), the two elves climbed up into the trees.</p><p>That was when it happened. He felt a prick at the back of his neck. The world started spinning. Then he knew no more.</p><p>----</p><p>The world was hazy after that. The spiders poked and prodded him at first to see what they could do with him. They commanded him to retrieve various things for them. When they found him useful, the spiders tried to care for their toy. They plucked leaves off the trees, expecting him to eat them. Which he did, at first. But when the leaves began to make him sick, the spiders seemed to argue amongst themselves. Then they commanded him to forage for food for himself. That was more successful. Bilbo had a good eye for wild edibles, something that had come in handy on the journey to Erebor.</p><p>It was harder now, with the dizziness that Mirkwood produced and the visions from the venom the spiders gave him in small doses to keep him from running off. But he found that if he searched for plants that were not colored in the hideous purples or oranges or the greys that resembled the trees, most of the time they were edible.</p><p>At least the visions kept him company. He often talked to Bofur or Nori as he scouted for food, or discussed gardens with Hamfast Gamgee. When the spiders put him to work luring orcs, he discussed battle moves with Dwalin and Gloin. When the winter snow and the icy rain had him shivering, he complained at his cousin Lobelia. </p><p>Visions of Thorin only showed themselves when he wanted to end it. When he was disgusted with enticing the orcs, when the disconnected feeling from the venom became too much, he contemplated going after an orc, then turning Sting the wrong way.</p><p>But invariably, when he thought such things, the King Under the Mountain would appear. 'You have much to live for, Burglar. There must be a way out of this.' Thorin's blue eyes always burned into Bilbo as he said the words. Always with much hope and conviction.</p><p>So for a day or two, the hobbit would try to fight the spiders off. But they always took care of his rebelliousness by injecting him with more venom.</p><p>During one of his rebellious turns, he remembered the ring in his pocket. Strangely enough, he could not completely hide from the spiders with the orcs around, even with the ring on. If not sheathed, Sting's blue glow was visible to them. But the ring made it easier to hide when the orcs were elsewhere. That gave him time away, time to think, a moment or two of actual clarity.</p><p>It was clear that his life was now in ruins.</p><p>He couldn't keep the ring on for long. The darkness that pervaded the world when it was on his finger was overwhelming. And listening to the spiders speak was extremely disturbing. When he took it off though, the situation was just as bad. He didn't want to be a toy. He didn't want to sting orcs that held huge axes or dirty knives, or that spit in your face. But he couldn't resist the venom.</p><p>Still, he had a choice when it came to the ring. So the next time the spiders called him to lure orcs, he kept it on. He was glad he did. Somehow the orc they sent him to lure looked like Thorin! </p><p>Bilbo didn't want the orc--or even Thorin-- to see how disturbed he was by this turn of events. So even as he attacked the orc, he kept the ring on. He knew the orc could see his sword. The glowing outline confused it for a moment. But then its eyes narrowed like Thorin's did when he was pondering something deeply. That look drove Bilbo to put his foot out to touch the other's boot like he had when Thorin had taught him to balance correctly with his sword.</p><p>Feeling the boot made his head spin. Orcs didn't always wear boots, and when they did it was rarely anything near the clean supple leather of Thorin's footwear. But this one felt just like it. Who did the orc steal these boots from?!</p><p>But even before that thought fully formed, Bilbo saw the orc reach out to touch his hand. He whimpered at the first feel of strong calloused skin. For although it felt like Thorin's hand, he knew that was the venom distorting his mind. Thorin's hand had never been that gentle.</p><p>But then he felt the orc grab for the ring. 'No! No! You can't have it!' his mind cried. But as he tried to fight back, the venom made him seize up. Then everything faded.</p><p>----</p><p>When he woke, the world had turned again. He was sure that he was in the orc's arms, but somehow it was the most comfortable resting place he had had in months. As he watched, another orc approached, this one looking like Kili's intended. It fed him something bitter (but not particularly vile). Soon he found himself sick. The sickness made his head swim more than usual.</p><p>So he tried to escape before they killed him through a different type of poison. He ran, putting distance between him and the disturbing images of orcs disguised as his friends. </p><p>But then his ring called to him. The ring. He must grab his precious ring! It was the only thing in his world that made sense right now.</p><p>Bilbo bent down to grab it. Then the orc disguised as Thorin lifted him into its arms again. He fought with all his might to get free of the orc. But it was no use, he was too weak from the sickness.</p><p>Then his mind gave him an unexpected gift. "Put it in your pocket," he heard. But not from the orc. Somehow, that was Thorin, really Thorin. No orc could copy that soothing voice. It must have been a memory that he somehow had forgotten, but it was still very welcome.</p><p>He did as the voice suggested, then the spiders seemed to come at him from all sides. He yelled, then struggled. He would get away from the spiders and the orcs somehow.</p><p>But the struggle made him tired, so weary. He barely had energy to lift his head once he stopped struggling. Moments later, he blacked out once again.</p><p>Consciousness came with the thought that the orcs were stealing him from the spiders. Because he was still in the arms of the orc that looked like Thorin, and they were moving.</p><p>The sickness overcame him again as they orc carried him, making him weak and even dizzier. So he didn't struggle. He accepted that death may lay at the end of this particular journey.</p><p>Well, there were worse ways to die than in Thorin Oakenshield's arms, even if it was an illusion.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Dream</h2></a>
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    <p>Bilbo woke to a dream. It was the most wonderful dream of a bed, comfort and fresh air. He sighed in contentment, even as the sigh made him cough. The dream was even more wonderful when he looked around. He was not alone, but there was not an orc or spider in sight.</p><p>He was surrounded by Dwarrow instead. His Dwarrow (who he only claimed in the deep recesses of his mind). Nori was in front of him looking out the window. Bofur was to his left straightening the covers on the bed. Kili was standing to his right. And in the chair next to Kili sat Thorin.</p><p>Bilbo knew it was a dream instantly because the hobbit heard Thorin telling Kili that he wanted to take Bilbo home to Erebor, no matter what happened when Lord Elrond came.</p><p>Lord Elrond was coming to see him? Thorin wanted Bilbo to stay in the mountain?</p><p>Oh, how he wished that could be true! But he knew it could not be. The words were just his longing put into a dream.</p><p>But somehow it seemed so real.</p><p>Dream Thorin must have caught the sound of Bilbo's longing whimper. Because he turned his head towards the hobbit. Then with a look he had always reserved for when the two of them appeared to be alone, the King asked, "Amralime, are you in pain?"</p><p>That first word was said so gently that Bilbo knew it had to be an endearment. He wondered where he had heard it before. Because of course his visions couldn't know more Khudzul than he did. He sat back to think for a moment. It would fit with the elvish words of love, so he probably heard it from Kili when he was speaking to Tauriel.</p><p>Then he focused on what the image of Thorin had actually asked. The pain in his stomach was bearable. So Bilbo shook his head vehemently, not wanting the images of his friends to leave to supposedly get help. For he knew they would fade away if he said yes.</p><p>But even the illusion of the King Under the Mountain turned exasperated when the situation was not to his liking. For when Bilbo squirmed on the bed to settle his aching stomach more comfortably, Thorin sighed. "I am destined to love one more stubborn than myself. Dis will be pleased." Then he reached to a table beside the bed and held out a cup. "Drink this, I will hold the cup for you."</p><p>As much as he would love being cared for by the King before him, even in his imagination, the hobbit worried about the ramifications of it. For he was sure that behind the illusion of the Dwarrow, there was something more sinister.</p><p>"I can't. The orcs are trying to poison me," Bilbo said softly. "I can't let them do that. If they find out that it's easy to do to me, they might try it on the real Thorin."</p><p>That seemed to disturb the Dwarrow before him profoundly. The expression on dream Thorin's visage turned dark as he put the cup down and turned to Nori. "He thinks we are orcs?"</p><p>"The spiders' venom is powerful. Ori told me he saw the the entire library at Moria after he was bitten. So it is possible." Nori shrugged, but he too looked rather disturbed as his eyes met Bilbo's.</p><p>The hobbit was surprised when a tear ran down Nori's cheek.</p><p>----</p><p>Thorin sighed as he looked at his One and realized that he still was in the grip of the spiders' poison. He fiercely regretted the lack of action on his part that brought Bilbo here. "I should have told him before he left Erebor."</p><p>"Yes, you should have," Bofur replied, unexpectedly criticizing his King. "But now that we're here like this, you shouldn't put it on his shoulders. He's too weak to make sense of it right now. Just take care of him until he's better. Then you can fix it."</p><p>Thorin nodded. Bofur was right. His anger would not help Bilbo right now. So instead of castigating himself, he picked up the cup of tea again. "No orcs have touched this tea, Bilbo. It will help with the pain."</p><p>When he put the cup to the hobbit's lips, Bilbo took a tentative sip. The King smiled. There was still trust somewhere inside the hobbit. So he tilted the cup slightly. That seemed to encourage Bilbo to take another sip, and another until he had swallowed it all.</p><p>"The elves said the tea will make you sleepy slowly. We will sit with you even when you sleep. You will be in no danger here." Thorin ran his fingers through Bilbo's now-clean curls. "Tharkun is coming to check on you when Lord Elrond arrives. He worries about you as well."</p><p>For just a moment, it seemed to Thorin that Bilbo understood. He leaned into Thorin's hand and seemed to relax slightly. Then the hobbit murmured, "Will you stay with me when the orcs torture me? It will make it so much easier to bear."</p><p>The King had to look away as tears suddenly came to his eyes. It tortured <em>him</em> to know that his One felt that he could not trust his own sight, even when he was safe. But Thorin could not think of anything to say other than "I will be with you as long as I can be." He took Bilbo's hand gently, and studied the hobbit's face as Bilbo gazed back at him.</p><p>The others climbed on the bed to surround Bilbo, to try to help him feel safe. The Dwarrow were glad to see that it may have worked, as Bilbo shuffled more securely under the bedcovers as they settled at the free corners of the bed. But the hobbit did not let go of Thorin's hand.</p><p>For a time, they all were quiet. None of the Dwarrow wanted to say something that made Bilbo think they were once again orcs. So they just smiled at him and tried to look nonthreatening.</p><p>Just as Bilbo was beginning to fall asleep, Thranduil entered the room almost silently. He beckoned to Thorin. So Kili carefully wrapped his hand around the hobbit's, allowing Thorin to rise.</p><p>"Has he woken?" The Elvenking asked as he tried to not tower over the other King for once.</p><p>"Yes, and he has spoken. He believes we are orcs." Thorin looked back at Bilbo worriedly. "Or perhaps we are ghosts. But he is sure we are not real."</p><p>Thranduil frowned. "He is like the others who survived the poison. They also did not believe they were safe or that anyone was real."</p><p>"If they survived the poison, what killed them?" Thorin asked, dreading the answer yet needing to know what was destined for his One.</p><p>"Their fears. They could not find comfort in us, in their friends or family, or even in the waters surrounding Rivendell. Their minds could not let go of the fear that the poison seems to instill in them." The Elvenking shook his head. "I had hoped that the Dwarf bonding between the two of you would give him some relief from that, or that his cleverness would help him find a way around it."</p><p>"He is very weak. He will need time for his cleverness to come back. And as for the bonding...I did not speak to him of it before he left Erebor." Thorin said this very quietly, now embarrassed that he had so slighted his One. Especially when being a Pair would help Bilbo now.</p><p>Thranduil grimaced. "I suggest you attempt to speak of it once Elrond and Mithrandir have given what they can. For they can treat the effects of the poison on the body, but they can do little for the mind."</p><p>"How can I do so without frightening him? If we are orcs to him, everything is a deception." Thorin paced worriedly in front of the healer's table.</p><p>"Elves drift at times. In thought, with nature, in strong emotion. To bring one back to the world, a talisman can often be helpful. A sound, a touch, an object of importance to them will make it easier for them to return. Mr. Baggins has the strength to use a talisman, if you can convince him that <em>it</em> is real." Thranduil looked around the room. "I saw your kin pick up items that most likely belong to your beloved. Are any meaningful to him?"</p><p>Thorin thought for a moment, then reached into his money pouch and pulled out Bilbo's acorn. He showed it to Thranduil. "Bofur said that it was half buried in the ground near the spot where he was taken. Most likely it was undisturbed since he was kidnapped. So it should not remind him of the spiders or the orcs."</p><p>"An acorn? How will something so simple and common help?" The Elvenking looked puzzled.</p><p>"It is an acorn that he found in the shape changer's house. That somehow reminded him of me, because it would grow strong and bold. That he wanted to hang his memories on so the sunlight through the leaves would remind him of us and our journey. Hobbits are simple folk by nature. Bilbo has often given us simple solutions to confounding problems. This is a simple solution."</p><p>"Then it is a good possibility. You can try to use it when he wakes again, but do so gently. Remind him of the good connected with it, for the bad may send him back to the spiders."</p><p>Thorin nodded. "Will the poison leave his mind if it works?"</p><p>Thranduil shook his head. "I do not think that even he is that strong. The poison overpowers too well. But the more you draw him back to the world, the more he may want to stay in it. So do not lose hope if he only reaches to you for a moment. If he can let go of the fright at all, he has a chance to not end up like his kin who have been so afflicted."</p><p>"Then I will give it to him when the food comes for him. Perhaps it will help him eat."</p><p>"That would be a true blessing. He is much too thin for even a Stoor hobbit. I will have guards outside the room to keep him from leaving if he becomes frightened. But that is their only task. They will not disturb you or your kin." Thranduil seemed to lose all semblance of haughtiness as he continued. "The eagles arrive in the morning, and one of the guards can summon me or the healers if needed. I can see that you plan to stay the night here. I would suggest you take turns resting in the guest quarters. His nightmares are likely to be difficult for all of you."</p><p>Thorin wanted to lash out at the Elvenking for even suggesting that he would leave his One in such a condition. But if it was true that the other hobbits died of fear, it was likely that little rest would be had tonight, even if Bilbo was able to fight that fear. So he took a deep breath and nodded. "We will stay strong to help him battle them. I will tell the the healers and Lord Rivendell of what transpires through the night."</p><p>"Then my people are at your service and my hopes go with you back to his side." With that, the Elvenking turned and left the healer's room.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. What is Real?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thorin clutched the acorn tightly as he went back to the others. "The Elvenking fears he will die of fright," he revealed to the expectant Dwarrow.</p><p>Bofur scoffed. "Fright? Our Burglar? Never. He turns his fears into plans."</p><p>Thorin sat down heavily in the chair next to Bilbo's bed. "It is true. He has often been scared right before he cleverly found a way to save us. But this is different. It seems that some of the other hobbits survived the poison attacking their bodies, but none survived it attacking their minds."</p><p>"There has to be some way. We can't just let him die!" Kili insisted as he put an arm around his uncle.</p><p>"We will fight for him, yes. But we must make him see that he must fight with us." Thorin opened the hand containing the acorn. "For now, the elf wishes us to try to make the poison let go of him for a moment. His acorn may help us because it most likely hasn't been tainted by orcs or spiders. If he sees it, he may be able to see us. If he truly sees us for a moment, there is hope that we can push the poison back further."</p><p>Nori nodded. "I have heard of doing similar when one is lost in great sorrow. But it was always done by family, slowly and carefully."</p><p>"He has many cousins in the Shire, but the way he talks of them doesn't remind me of family," Bofur said with a wry twist of his mouth. "It would be dangerous to trust them with this."</p><p>"Although he does not know it, I am part of his family now," Thorin smiled at Kili's frown. "As you and Fili are. And Bofur, he has chosen you and Ori as brothers of a sort. Nori, he trusts your ability to see tricks. So if he does see us, you can reassure him that there are none."</p><p>The three Dwarrow nodded solemnly. </p><p>Thorin stared at his One's lax face with a frown. "We will try to draw him to us when his food comes. He desperately needs to eat. We must do our best to assure him the food is safe."</p><p>"But what if the poison is too strong, Indad? What if he tries to run from us again?" Kili asked worriedly.</p><p>"There are elves outside the door to keep him from fleeing. And we try again after the Lord of Rivendell has done more to heal his body."</p><p>They all agreed. So they were understandably nervous when Tauriel brought a plate over for Bilbo an hour later, with a message for them. "There is food for you at the table in the corner. I thought it best to leave it there in case your attempt to reach Bilbo goes awry."</p><p>Thorin believed his appetite would most likely leave him if he could not reach Bilbo at all. But he thanked the elf just the same.</p><p>Then he carefully shook Bilbo awake. The four Dwarrow had agreed earlier that Thorin should try to pull the hobbit to the world first. He was Bilbo's One, and Bilbo did seem to trust him for short moments. If Thorin caused Bilbo to fear, Bofur would try next.</p><p>The hobbit's eyes opened slowly. Thorin watched carefully, preparing to hold out the acorn as soon as the Burglar showed some awareness. But just as that moment came, the King's fingers became caught in his own hair. He swore softly in Khudzul, trying to not drop the acorn as he worked to free his fingers.</p><p>Then a small hand reached out to help him. "Thorin, what are you doing? Haven't you brushed your hair lately? It shouldn't tangle this easily." The sheer normalcy of the situation startled the King. The hobbit had not fussed over Thorin's hair before, but he had arranged the King's bedroll plenty of times, and made sure his food was as palatable as possible.</p><p>The King stared at Bilbo for a moment as he thought about the way the hobbit had acted. Thorin almost groaned as he realized that the hobbit had fussed over him, but not the others (except to scold Fili and Kili as if they were 'mischievous fauntlings'). Perhaps he had been wrong to assume his words of love would have been rejected.</p><p>For the light in his One's eyes was welcoming as the hobbit smiled at him. "Let me help you," Bilbo said as he eased the King's fingers from the tangle, then reached for the acorn. "Oh, you found it."</p><p>"Yes, it was buried in the dirt. Bofur picked it up so you didn't lose it." Thorin very carefully watched the hobbit's face as he told the part of the story the Elvenking believed Bilbo could handle.</p><p>Bilbo looked around at each of the Dwarrows. He smiled at Bofur. "Thank you. I--" The hobbit's face turned sad. "I was going to plant it when I returned to the Shire."</p><p>"We can plant it next to the mountain if you would return to Erebor." Thorin knew he was treading dangerous ground, but he could not help but ask the hobbit to return home with them.</p><p>"Why would you want me to go back?" Bilbo asked curiously as Nori set the plate of food on the hobbit's lap.</p><p>"Because I--" Thorin coughed. "We miss you."</p><p>That small mixed up confession was enough to take Bilbo's eyes off the food and have him look straight at the King. "Oh," he said in a small, reverent voice. Nori, however, frowned at Thorin. Getting Bilbo to eat was more important than even love at that moment. </p><p>The King sighed and nodded. So he picked up Bilbo's spoon. "Your food is getting cold, Burglar."</p><p>"Have the orcs poisoned it?" the hobbit asked as his eyes suddenly seemed to lose some of their focus.</p><p>Kili put a hand on Thorin's shoulder as it slumped. "No they haven't. We made sure of it." The young dwarf smiled at Bilbo then whispered in Thorin's ear. "He saw all of us. He has a chance."</p><p>The King straightened his shoulders as hope filled him. Then he helped his One eat his meal.</p><p>----</p><p>The night, however, was not as hopeful.</p><p>Once Bilbo had eaten his small meal, Thorin shooed the others to seek their food while he helped the hobbit settle back to sleep. The awareness in Bilbo's eyes seemed to wax and wane as he watched Thorin fuss over him. But Thorin was gratified to see the hobbit chuckle as Thorin fumbled changing him into a cleaner nightshirt, with the mithril shirt underneath to give him a feeling of safety.</p><p>"I have lost my skill at this. It has been too long since Fili or Kili needed help dressing." Thorin murmured as he straightened the sleeves of the garments.</p><p>He looked at Bilbo's face after he received no response to his words. The hobbit was looking at the corner in trepidation. So the King whispered, "I will defend you against whatever you see."</p><p>Bilbo's eyes did not move, nor did he speak. But his hand sought Thorin's. So the King held it gently. This seemed to be enough to let the hobbit drift to sleep. So once his breathing evened out, Thorin called Nori to take his place.</p><p>"I need to eat and to change my clothes." </p><p>Nori shooed his King off before Thorin exhausted himself just staring at his One. "Take the time you need. We will watch him."</p><p>So Thorin sat at the table in the corner, and ate a meal he barely tasted. Then he hurried off to the guest quarters to clean himself up.</p><p>When he came back to the healer's room an hour later, shouting instantly greeted his ears. So he hurried over to Bilbo's bed to find the three Dwarrow trying to hold a squirming hobbit down.</p><p>"He must have had a bad nightmare, because he woke up and tried to break the teacup to hurt himself!" Nori explained as soon as he saw Thorin. "I caught him at it just in time."</p><p>"Where is the acorn?" Thorin asked almost immediately.</p><p>"On the bedside table. It didn't seem to help much," Kili replied.</p><p>"The poison is taking me over! I must stop it!" Bilbo suddenly yelled. "I will not hurt Thorin or his people!" Then he broke free of the Dwarrow and ran towards the window. He immediately tried to climb onto the sill.</p><p>"No!" Thorin immediately stepped over and pulled Bilbo into his arms. In his haste to keep the hobbit safe, he didn't bother to move his hair out of the way of his arms. So it fell over Bilbo in a wave.</p><p>The hobbit stopped struggling as the King's arms tightened around him. "Thorin?" he inquired hesitantly as he fingered a strand of hair.</p><p>The King automatically balanced Bilbo so he could reach to flick the mane behind his back and out of the hobbit's way. But Nori held out a hand to stop him. "I think your sister will be delighted to know that her lessons on caring for your hair came to some use."</p><p>Thorin gave Nori a puzzled look, then felt a small tug on his locks. "Thorin, where are we?"</p><p>"The healer's room in Mirkwood," the King said without really thinking. Then he realized who asked the question. "Bilbo?"</p><p>The hobbit pushed some of Thorin's hair to one side, but still held onto a few strands. "Did--did orcs bring me here?" Bilbo's voice was small, as if he were afraid of the answer.</p><p>"No, Amralime. We found you. We had gone into the woods to find your possessions, for we had heard that the spiders had taken you. If I had known that the spiders had kept you alive, we would have come much sooner." Thorin sat in the chair by the bed and did his best to cradle the hobbit like he had his nephews when they were young.</p><p>Thorin had to hold back a moan of relief when Bilbo leaned into him. "So you were the orcs."</p><p>"No. No," Bofur said quickly. "I think the orcs stayed away because we were there."</p><p>Bilbo said not a word, as he had fallen asleep once again.</p><p>Their discovery of a way to help Bilbo reach the world did not stop the hobbit from shouting in fear or trying to run many times that night. But as soon as they could, one of the Dwarrow would carry the trembling hobbit over to Thorin and ease him into the King's arms, making sure to drape the locks of ebony and silver around him.</p><p>Doing so would allow the hobbit, and the Dwarrow, to sleep a little more. Until Bilbo awoke again.</p><p>Although it wore all of them out, there was benefit from the struggle. For when Tharkun and Lord Elrond entered the healer's room in the morning, they were amazed that the hobbit could welcome them in--even if it only lasted for a moment.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Change is Real</h2></a>
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    <p>Lord Elrond and Tharkun treated Bilbo most of the morning. Thorin could see herbs, water and some crystals go into the room. He could hear incantations over Bilbo's confused yelling. But Tauriel stopped Thorin before he could rush in to help his One. "You will need your strength for the next part," she whispered as she blocked the door. "Let them handle this. They are not letting him wake for long to keep his fear away until it is done."</p><p>Thorin let out a low growl of frustration, but he knew the elf was right. The struggle for Bilbo's mind would take work and time. But if his One needed battles like they had the night before, Thorin would gladly repeat it. As often as necessary.</p><p>So he stayed right outside the healer's door as the two magic makers healed the hobbit. As the noonday sun shone, Lord Elrond finally bade him enter.</p><p>Thorin went straight to Bilbo's side. The hobbit seemed to be sleeping peacefully despite the cries Thorin had heard earlier. The King ran his fingers lightly over Bilbo's cheek. He didn't stir. But he looked less pale and was breathing well, so Thorin did his best to calm the worry within himself.</p><p>"The magic we used to heal his body exhausted him," Lord Elrond revealed as he sat down, a bit ungracefully for an elf. He appeared exhausted as well, though Thorin's past with the elves wouldn't let him say so. "He is healed enough that he will have strength to fight the fears that the poison has given him. But it will not be simple to do so. It will be long and hard, perhaps taking the rest of his life. It is not a task to be handled lightly. Though I understand that you wish to fight with him, there may be days that you wish to walk away."</p><p>"I will never walk away! He is my One!" Thorin growled angrily. How could this elf not see that he would do whatever it took to help Bilbo?!</p><p>Lord Elrond held up a hand as he tried to placate the Dwarf. "I know of the strength of your commitment to your causes, and to your people. And I realize that you are bonded to him. But even the best of bonds may stretch thin at times. So do not fight alone. You will need time to rest when the bond thins."</p><p>"But what of Bilbo? He will be the one who suffers. Will this not tire him as well?" the King despaired.</p><p>"Yes, it will. And it may feel too overwhelming to him at times. But he knew himself well when I met him last. I expect he will learn his new self quickly if you allow him to do so. If he does, have him tell you of his discoveries, for the knowledge may help when he tires."</p><p>Thorin took a deep breath as he turned back towards Bilbo's bed. A sadness filled him. "He will never be as he was before, then." </p><p>"Is anyone the same after such an ordeal? These events change us. But do not discount that cleverness in him that Gandalf says you so admire. It is possible for Bilbo to become better than he was, in ways that are important to him, and perhaps to you." Elrond stood up and laid a hand on Thorin's shoulder. "His affection for you has not changed. The few times he was awake, he called out for you. We could not allow you in because your presence would disrupt the magic. But he calmed instantly when Gandalf made it so Bilbo could hear the tune you were humming earlier. It was the one your friend sang in Rivendell, was it not?"</p><p>The King laughed at the memory of Bofur's antics. "Yes. I was trying to cheer myself." Then he turned more sober as he worried for his One. "I would have given you a lock of my hair if you had asked. That also seems to calm him."</p><p>Lord Elrond smiled. "He had a strand of it that he held onto when the healing was difficult. It gave him strength. He worried about you at those points, however, for he feared you could feel his pain. He seems to sense the bond between you, even though he isn't sure it is real.";</p><p>Thorin stared at the sleeping hobbit as he thought. "There were times I felt weak while sitting in the hall. Could that have been his pain?"</p><p>Elrond inclined his head. "Perhaps. If that reoccurs when he is weak, do call on your friends and healers, for you will both need them."</p><p>"What do I do now? How do I start showing him what he has missed?" Thorin asked as he watched his One sleep. The King seemed to pose his query to the world rather than to the elf.</p><p>But the elf answered. "Give him time to rest. And as you do, discover the person he is. You may find it as intriguing as the person he was. Once you know him, you can reintroduce him to yourself and the world."</p><p>----</p><p>Bilbo woke to a gentle hum.</p><p>The hum, somewhere about his head, enticed him. He somehow wanted to reach out and grab it. But then, without thinking about it, he started humming along.</p><p>At that moment, the humming above him stopped, and a face came into his view.</p><p>He gasped as he saw the rotting face of an orc in front of him. He closed his eyes tightly and waited to be torn to pieces. But nothing happened. Guessing that the orc wasn't real, he let himself relax a little. When he opened them a few second later, the orc had a neatly shaped beard.</p><p>Bilbo startled, trying to get away from the image. It looked too much like Thorin, making the face eerily disturbing. But as he moved to leave the bed, a soft flow of hair fell over his hand. It felt like Thorin's hair. So he looked at the orc's face again. Suddenly, it had bright blue eyes that seemed to shine with a very familiar intelligence.</p><p>"Thorin?" the hobbit whispered hesitantly.</p><p>The bearded orc smiled gently. Then the face changed more until instead of an orc, a King was in front of him. "Would you like the snack Lord Elrond left for you?" Thorin asked as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.</p><p>Which was probably the truth. So internally shaking himself for giving into the vision (even for a second), Bilbo looked at the table beside the bed, where he could see some fruits and bread. "It is from the elves?"</p><p>"Yes, and Bofur is trying to get them to bring you some mushrooms and something with jam." Thorin took a piece of fruit off the plate and offered it to Bilbo. "I swear it is safe, Amralime."</p><p>There was that word again. This time, the hobbit knew it was really Thorin saying it. But what did it mean? Why did he say it in such a gentle tone? Bilbo didn't know. He wanted to ask, but he feared when he did, an orc would reappear in Thorin's place.</p><p>But then his nose twitched at the pleasant smell of the food Thorin held in his fingers as he waited for the hobbit to decide whether he trusted the King. Thorin's patient eyes and his own hunger persuaded him. Bilbo bit the fruit as Thorin held it, still feeling rather weak in the limbs from the confusing magic that had swirled around him earlier.</p><p>"It's good," the hobbit said softly after he swallowed the piece of peach.</p><p>"Do you wish me to feed you more, or would you like the plate?" Thorin asked softly, then waited again with uncharacteristic patience for his reply.</p><p>Bilbo lifted his hand, which trembled as he tried to control his tired limbs. "I don't want to take you from your duties."</p><p>Thorin took the hand gently and kissed it. Bilbo looked at the King in shock. "What--?!"</p><p>"I am correcting a mistake, Amralime. Please let me help you so I may repay you for letting you leave the mountain."</p><p>For a moment, Bilbo was worried that the spiders were manipulating Thorin. For how could the King feel affection for someone as simple as himself? But the Dwarrow's gentle expression did not change.  Nor did he feel any dizziness or hear the scrabbling of spider legs. So he nodded. "I --uh, need a few hours to get my strength back."</p><p>"I have no duties here in Mirkwood, so I am truly at your service," Thorin pledged. "In fact, the elves are making the preparations for our journey back to Erebor." He held a piece of hearty bread so Bilbo could take a bite. Then he seemed to hesitate before choking out, "I want you to return with us."</p><p>"But I will be in the way. You need to restore the mountain!" Bilbo trembled a bit. He wished to return. He truly did. But Thorin was a King now, and had more responsibility than ever. It would be wrong for Bilbo to be in the way of that.</p><p>"If you are not there, I will be distracted. For I care for you deeply," Thorin confessed in a soft voice. "You need to recover. Please let me help you."</p><p>Oddly, Bilbo saw Thorin's face morph back into an orc's. For a moment, that frightened him. For if the orc had been speaking in the guise of Thorin, all of his words were lies. But when he leaned forward to take a bite of the bread the orc held out, it was still the warm, hearty loaf he had bitten a few moments ago. So he reached out until his hand encountered soft ebony locks. He tangled his fingers in it. The King's visage returned a moment later.</p><p>Thorin met his eyes worriedly. "Your absence would have troubled me much if you had returned home safely. Because I would have not been able to challenge others who might seek your love. But now, I would worry for your safety as well. Elrond told me the visions may remain with you."</p><p>Love? The hobbit guessed Thorin meant that he didn't want to see Bilbo marry someone who was beneath his now high status. He didn't want to consider how the King cared for him deeply, because he wanted it to be something that it surely couldn't be.</p><p>So he gathered his resolve to not reach out to Thorin. But his resolve crumbled at the sight of him. The frown on Thorin's face spoke of the King beating himself up yet again for events that were not his fault. "You shouldn't feel guilty. You did nothing wrong." Bilbo frowned himself as Thorin bowed his head in a familiar gesture of remorse. "And let's not talk about that! I forgave you and you forgave me for what happened on the battlements. Or was that an illusion?"</p><p>"No!" Thorin exclaimed quickly, then appeared to try to calm himself. "We were friends when you left."</p><p>"Why didn't you tell me that you wanted more than just friendship?" Bilbo asked, still not quite believing that Thorin cared enough to be driven to kisses of any type. But his hand still tingled where Thorin's lips had pressed gently.</p><p>"You had a home, and people you wished to return to. You still do, if you choose to go back to the Shire. But I wish to offer myself and my family to you, whether you return my affection or not. For you should be understood and accepted, and cared for in a way that allows you to feel safe when the visions abate." Thorin sat back a little to keep Bilbo away from his distress. "Bofur worries that you will not get that in the Shire."</p><p>"You may think you care for me now, but from what Lord Elrond has said about what awaits me, that affection will be sorely pressed." Bilbo sighed. "But you're right, my cousins will never understand this madness in my head."</p><p>"Then let us help you with it. I will not ask for your affection if you do not wish to give it. But I will give mine by allowing your to reach for my hair whenever you are in need." Thorin grabbed another piece of fruit, moving carefully so that Bilbo didn't lose his grip on the King's tresses.</p><p>Bilbo ate the berry, then chuckled as a thought occurred to him. "Your shop masters would be rather befuddled if I came into a meeting just so I could hold your hair."</p><p>"Meetings with the master craftsmen are often boring. Your presence would be a welcome pause in their prattle." Thorin smiled as a twinkle returned to Bilbo's eyes.</p><p>"Well, the King shouldn't be too bored. Perhaps I'll come back to amuse you, then."</p><p>Suddenly, Thorin's forehead pressed gently against Bilbo's. "Amralime, I would be honored if you did so."</p><p>Bilbo still wasn't sure of Thorin's true affection. But the King had never hidden his concern for his people.</p><p>At that moment, the hobbit realized that he had been one of Thorin's people since the trolls had tried to eat them. So of course he would return to Erebor. Just to keep Thorin from worrying too much. He would go back to the Shire in autumn, before he became a burden to the King.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. First Steps</h2></a>
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    <p>The first real test of the hobbit's strength was to be on trek back to Erebor. Everyone was worried about it. Elrond and Gandalf worried that the darkness on the road would give Bilbo more visions. Thranduil worried the orcs in the forest would follow them on their journey. Nori, Bofur and Kili worried that Bilbo might run if he had a nightmare.</p><p>Thorin worried that all of that would frighten Bilbo to death. Literally. </p><p>But the King needed to return to his kingdom. And Elrond believed Bilbo needed to be tested. His cleverness needed to be challenged to find ways around his mind's new tendencies. The short journey would give him and Thorin time to learn how to adapt before responsibilities weighed on the King's shoulders.</p><p>They would ride by horses and ponies to speed the way and to make the journey easier. But they all knew there was a chance that even the first few steps would be too much for Bilbo, and that he would need to return to Mirkwood.</p><p>If so, Erebor might have to lose its King. For Thorin would go with his One.</p><p>Thorin didn't make this known to Bilbo. Yet it was as if the hobbit could sense the King's thoughts. For he refused to back out, rather loudly at times, even when Thorin was the one suggesting that he didn't have to leave the forest just yet.</p><p>"No! I need to try this and you need to go home. You do know how much trouble Fili can get into without someone to pull him by the braid. I hope Dis is as strong as you say. For he's likely to have colored all your tunics yellow if she's not." </p><p>Thorin could see Bilbo squinting as he attempted to see past one of his visions. So Thorin let his hair brush the hobbit's waving hand as he chuckled. "My sister would send him to cook with Bombur if he tried. You know how much Fili hates cooking."</p><p>"As much as you hate reading maps." Bilbo smiled. "I can't wait to meet her. She sounds wonderful."</p><p>Thorin folded his hands around one of Bilbo's. "She is curious about you as well. So expect to be bombarded with questions from the moment she first sees you."</p><p>"She can't be worse than my nosey cousins." Bilbo scoffed. </p><p>Thorin made a pained sound. "She would have questioned Smaug if she had the chance. If you had failed, I might have let her."</p><p>Bilbo laughed. "Then I must get through this and meet her."</p><p>The King tried not to be too hopeful in case Bilbo needed more time. "As you wish, Amralime. But do not stay silent if the journey is too troublesome. You have already endured more than most dwarves could. Taking more time to heal is not weakness."</p><p>Bilbo looked sternly at Thorin. "You should have followed your own words after the battle. Oin kept sending me after you once you were out of the healer's tent. He was worried you would collapse."</p><p>Thorin didn't tell Bilbo that he did almost collapse sometime later, after the funeral they held for the hobbit. It had taken Dwalin's strength and Ori's repeating of Bilbo's words during the journey (the ones that he had used as he fussed over the Prince) to pry Thorin out of the pile of treaty parchments and send him to bed. Thorin had avoided sleep because he had been afraid of his dreams. They had been filled with memories of Bilbo.</p><p>Instead he said, "You will be my reason to rest." And he would rest, for both of them. He would heed the Lord of Rivendell and prepare for hard times. Hopefully, his preparation would make those times easier on Bilbo.</p><p>Bilbo smiled at this and leaned into Thorin. They stayed that way for some time, until Kili came into the healer's room to persuade Bilbo to come meet his pony before the trip began.</p><p>----</p><p>Bilbo's pony, Lilac, was a gentle and friendly sort. And she did not startle easily. This, of course, would help when Bilbo's visions made him cry out.</p><p>Thorin smiled as Bilbo started the journey by talking to Lilac much as he had talked to that first pony when they had left the Shire. As if she was a friend and a confidante. But soon he lapsed into silence as he looked around him with suspicious eyes. The visions were obviously bothering him. So Bofur rode next to him to tell him about Bombur's children.</p><p>The King gave an internal sigh of relief when that seemed enough to return the hobbit to them. Thorin knew that Bilbo's return to Erebor would be more difficult if he was the only one who could help the hobbit past the visions. So the others had planned to try different distractions on Bilbo as they made their way home.</p><p>Bofur's gossip kept Bilbo mostly with them until noon, when it was obvious that the hobbit was beginning to tire.</p><p>So they stopped for a meal and a rest. But Bilbo still seemed weary when Tauriel suggested they head further. This was not unexpected but it did require a moment of planning.</p><p>Returning with Bilbo quickly was in everyone's best interest. He would be easier to find if he ran off in the mountain, and he would be easier to guard. Gandalf also suspected he would be less frightened by his visions in a familiar place. Though Erebor was not yet the hobbit's home, it was more familiar to him than Mirkwood.</p><p>But Bilbo's state was not conducive to commanding a pony. So Thorin carefully suggested that the hobbit ride with him, using the return to family as their reason for haste. Bilbo, for once, put his proud Took independent streak aside and agreed. For he had fought hard to give them and their families the home they were rebuilding. He wanted to see the Dwarven families that made it the glorious place that Thorin had regaled him with on the journey. He knew even then that the gold and jewels had nothing to do with its splendor.</p><p>Thorin's thoughts turned to family as well as he settled Bilbo in front of him and draped a few locks of his hair over the hobbit's shoulder. The King wondered what Dis would think of the hobbit in his current condition. She had always been one stay quiet about difficulties, often to not burden Thorin as he tried to balance working to feed them with taking care of the rest of the displaced Dwarrow. Would she reject Bilbo because his distress would not easily be hidden? Or that Thorin would not try to make him hide it? For he would not. Even he could see that making the hobbit worry about such things would make the problem worse.</p><p>Then there was the rest of the kingdom. What would happen when he asked Bilbo to be his Consort? Would Bilbo accept? Would the kingdom accept Bilbo?</p><p>"Are you seeing orcs now too?" Bilbo whispered as he looked up at the King.</p><p>"What? No." Thorin sighed. "I'm worried that Dis won't understand..."</p><p>"That I'm no longer the strong little hobbit?" Bilbo patted Thorin's arm. "I'm still me. I hope you haven't led her to expect a shorter dwarf. I was never the strongest of the group."</p><p>"She knows of the Shire, Amralime. She knows you are not a dwarf. But she had hidden fears so much after we left Erebor that I worry what she will think of you."</p><p>"Bilbo never hid his fears, Thorin. That's part of his charm!" Bofur said with a laugh. </p><p>Just then, something darted ahead of them. It was dark, hunched, and a flash of metal was in one hand.</p><p>Bilbo's hands started trembling. "That wasn't a vision, was it?"</p><p>"No," Thorin said shortly as his eyes tracked the orc. He reached for his sword.</p><p>Nori and Kili scouted ahead with Tauriel as Bofur pulled Sting from where it was strapped to Lilac and handed it to Bilbo. "No matter what you see, the real orcs will be coming from the trees over there." Bofur pointed ahead.</p><p>Bilbo nodded as his hands shook around the hilt of the sword. But just then, a black blur came at them from the side. Thorin thrust his sword at it and missed. It rammed itself at the King, nearly knocking him off the pony. </p><p>Angry that the one he loved was being attacked, Bilbo thrust Sting at the blur. He stabbed right through it. Then the orc landed in the dirt beside the pony.</p><p>"Was it a real one?" Bilbo asked as he hid his face in Thorin's shoulder, not wanting to look if he had been wrong.</p><p>"Yes, my Burglar. It was real." Thorin wrapped his arms around the trembling hobbit. "Thank you."</p><p>"I owe you. You saved me from the spiders," Bilbo murmured as he tried to calm down.</p><p>"As you helped save me from my wounds on Ravenhill." Thorin couldn't help but bury his nose in the hobbit's curls. "And you saved my home. The debt you think you have has been long paid. So let me care for my friend today, as he has had a bit of a fright and needs to be surrounded by those who can comfort him."</p><p>Bilbo didn't even pretend to misunderstand. He just nodded and leaned back into Thorin's arms. As the other Dwarrow brought their ponies beside them, Bilbo relaxed and started telling a story about the Shire.</p><p>The first test of the new Bilbo was a successful one. And as Elrond had predicted, Thorin found him as intriguing as the scared little burglar who took on a dragon. But somehow, he seemed even stronger.</p><p>Thorin laid a soft kiss on Bilbo's temple, figuring he wouldn't notice in the middle of the climax of his story.</p><p>The hobbit didn't react other than to wrap his hand in Thorin's hair. He didn't want the image of an orc to interfere with the feeling of the King's soft lips.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Perfection is Overrated</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The group made camp that night at the edge of the forest where the tree line led into a meadow. Not one of them was certain how Bilbo would handle sleeping out there (not even Bilbo), but camping where one could possibly see danger coming seemed like a good idea.</p><p>Everyone was glad that they only had to camp one night. Bilbo's fears could easily put him in danger out in the open, especially if the visions made him run off. Although this was always in the back of the Dwarrows' minds no matter the time of day, they had realized in Mirkwood that the visions were especially confusing to Bilbo at night.</p><p>So each of the Dwarrow took a turn sitting next to the hobbit as they ate and talked and following him when he helped clean up and stepped aside to take care of a few necessities. All the time, they kept up a steady stream of conversation. This overjoyed Bilbo, with his love of stories. But it also served another purpose. It was to distract him as well as remind him that friends were near. The poison seemed to distort his vision more than his hearing, so they reminded each other to speak when trying to get Bilbo past his visions.</p><p>Bofur, of course, helped push Bilbo's distortions away by singing a rather lively, if somewhat crude, song. The hobbit laughed when Thorin rolled his eyes at the miner, then started to sing along. At that point, the King sat to listen. So Bilbo continued on with a soft love song from the Shire. He locked his eyes with the King's as he sang. Thorin smiled and followed Bilbo's eyes until the end. So he was able to immediately spot the return of the visions. He took Bilbo's hand with a soft, "Come, sit with me." Their conversation about their childhoods then seemed to allow Bilbo to ignore the visions, though Thorin could see that they vied for the hobbit's attention until they decided it was time to turn in.</p><p>Thorin was the one to fuss over the bedrolls this night, placing Bilbo's next to his. And he guided the hobbit to lay on it, as the visions seemed to be blocking his ability to see the world in some way. The hobbit stumbled as he rose, but did not complain as he wandered in the wrong direction. The King immediately took him by the shoulders and whispered in his ear as he guided Bilbo over to their spots. </p><p>Bilbo thanked him quietly and wrapped his finger in a lock of Thorin's hair when the King offered it.</p><p>Everything was calm when they settled in to sleep. Nori took first watch so that he could assure Bilbo that there were no orcs in sight before he fell asleep.</p><p>But the uncertainty that came with open air must have bothered Bilbo's mind. Because he kept waking, which would then wake Thorin. Upon opening his eyes, Bilbo would immediately argue with whomever was on watch that orcs were nearby, although both Sting and Orcrist said otherwise. Twice, he ran into the woods to try to prove that they were all wrong. Thorin, of course, immediately followed him and coaxed him back to his bedroll before he became lost or hurt.</p><p>By the fifth time Bilbo had awakened him, Thorin became angry. "There are not any orcs about, Burglar. But if you keep yelling for them, you will bring them here!" the King snapped.</p><p>"Maybe you are the orc that has been bothering my mind!" Bilbo yelled back. He unsheathed Sting and stared at its edges. No blue glow appeared. But he still shivered with an uneasy feeling that his mind would not let be.</p><p>Thorin, in his annoyance, didn't see that Nori looked carefully into the woods at their backs. He just continued, "This does not seem to be working well. Perhaps we should have left you in Mirkwood!" He glared at the hobbit, who glared right back.</p><p>"Thorin!" Bofur and Kili chorused. "You heard Gandalf, Indad! Bilbo can't control the visions!" Kili said as he laid a hand on the hobbit's shoulders.</p><p>Bilbo jerked away, upsetting the young Dwarrow.</p><p>The hobbit was immediately apologetic. "I-I need to take a walk. I'll go out in the meadow, not too far. Since the moon is out, you should be able to see me." With that, he glared one last time at Thorin then stepped away from the camp.</p><p>Thorin watched Bilbo leave then sat down heavily on his bedroll. "I will make him worse,"  he predicted softly as he hung his head between his knees.</p><p>"If you do not seek help when your temper is short, you may," Tauriel countered as she watched the hobbit out in the meadow. "But Kili says that this is the way he usually reacts to your irritation, because he knows it will fade if he gives you time to think away from him."</p><p>"And yet he was surprised at me calling him friend on Carrock. I am horrible at showing him my regard for him."</p><p>"Apologizing when you get angry would be a good place to start. Bilbo knows you are only now learning to control your temper, just like he's learning to cope with the visions. There will be plenty of mistakes with both until you two have a bit more practice," Nori said softly as he leaned against a tree nearby. "I told him about the conversation you had with Bard, the one about learning to calm yourself so we can tell more quickly if you get goldsickness again. Bilbo wants to help you with it. But you have to admit you messed up."</p><p>"Will calming myself help me love him properly? My anger is part impatience. I have made no grand gesture towards him, nor have I given him any courting gifts, but I find myself wanting to even before we reach Erebor. I want him to know that he is entitled to all that I can give him, and that I will give it gladly." Thorin pushed his hair aside so he could look to where Bilbo was pacing in the meadow. "All the gold in the treasury would not be enough to show what he means to me. But even so, he would not want it."</p><p>"Of course not. He's a hobbit," Bofur piped up. "Hobbits like simple things. He told me that even when they court, they usually just give each other flowers or hugs to show their affection. Their grand gesture comes at the end, when they stand at their big tree and declare that they are getting married."</p><p>"You've already done much to help him in the healer's room and even today out here to help him and make him feel safe." When Thorin started to protest that they all did that, Kili shook his head. "He needs time to heal, but at some point, he will realize that a King is not often where he does not want to be. And where will he find you? At his side."</p><p>"And he will appreciate when you ask other people to fill that spot when you must deal with your kingdom, your tiredness, or your temper. He knows you are far from perfect, and that his visions can trouble us as well as him," Nori insisted. "The small gestures like that will go far with him."</p><p>Just then a blue light on his left made Thorin turn his head. Sting glowed next to Bilbo's bedroll. "Orcs. Nori, check the woods. I'll get Bilbo."</p><p>Nori nodded and waved Tauriel to go with him so their keen eyes could find the orcs quickly. Bofur and Kili tamped down the fire while Thorin went to retrieve his One.</p><p>"You may have sensed some real orcs," Thorin said softly as an apology as he approached the hobbit.</p><p>"Oh? Is everyone safe?" Bilbo looked back at their camp, trying to see who was there.</p><p>"Yes, Nori and Tauriel went to see if they could spot the creatures." </p><p>The hobbit nodded, then looked up at Thorin in the moonlight. "I didn't want to keep waking you. You need sleep more than I do. You will return to your people tomorrow."</p><p>"You cannot help it. If I do not sleep this night, I will ask the Company to be at your disposal so that I may rest before the craft council seeks me out." The King took Bilbo's arm gently to guide him back to the camp.</p><p>As they stepped towards Bofur, Nori and Tauriel returned. "It was only a few orcs," the elf said. "They ran as soon as they say us."</p><p>"They can be somewhat cowardly when they are alone," Thorin agreed as he laid down once again by Bilbo's side.</p><p>This time, however, the hobbit struggled to keep his eyes open. Thorin presumed it was so the rest of the group could sleep. This made him uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure what to do.</p><p>"Small gestures," Nori hissed at the King as he went to seek his own bedroll.</p><p>Thorin thought a moment, then lifted the edge of his cloak. "Amralime, would you sleep better with more protection?"</p><p>Bilbo looked shocked for a moment, but when Thorin did not rescind his offer, the hobbit shifted so he could lay with his back to Thorin's chest.</p><p>Although there were layers of clothes between them, Thorin had to stifle a small gasp of pleasure as his One curled against him. But after a deep breath, he was able to tuck his cloak around Bilbo so they both could stay warm.</p><p>Bilbo settled with his head pillowed on Thorin's arm and a hand tangled in his hair. The hobbit drifted to sleep within moments. Seeing that his One was content, Thorin soon followed.</p><p>The next time they awoke, the sun was shining over them.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Home, Such As It Is</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As those who are following along may have noticed, we have arrived at the once-a-week-update part of the program. Spring is my busy semester, but unless something unusual happens, expect an update every week to week and a half.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the journey was rather cheerful. Bilbo was starting to adjust to his new condition. It became easier to take interest in the world once again. So to pass the time on their journey, he asked for stories from each of the Dwarrow. He knew that by listening to their tales, he could begin to understand what he had missed.</p><p>Nori told him of Ori. Ori had cleaned the library in Erebor from top to bottom and categorized all the books since Bilbo left. He had cried when he had found some histories of the Shire among the tomes, and had moved them to the back to deal with his grief. The young dwarf had said that he would read them when he could honor the hobbit without putting tear stains on the books. But now with Bilbo's return, those books would most likely find prominence once again.</p><p>Bofur spoke of Bifur's new toys for the children in Erebor. Little hobbit shapes were now popular with the children as word of Bilbo's bravery and cleverness had been told to them. Now many ran through the halls of the city arguing with imaginary dragons.</p><p>Tauriel spoke of the improvements in Dale, as she often stopped there on the way to visit Kili in the mountain. Progress was slow but steady as they used the coins Bilbo had given Bard to fund the city. There too, children ran freely and celebrated what he had done.</p><p>Kili spoke of his mother's curiosity about Bilbo and her adoption of a few of his ways. "She planted a garden near the entrance to the mountain. Bombur collects vegetables from it for dinner!" The rather disgusted look on the Prince's face was enough to send all of them into peals of laughter.</p><p>The hobbit was astounded at how much he had influenced their lives up to that point. But not even those tales could prepare him for Thorin's words.</p><p>"I have tried to do as you wanted," Thorin said softly. "Ori told us at your funeral what you had said to him. That I had been beloved by you, but that you believed you would be a burden to my rule. His words brought me to one knee in front of your funeral stone. It was then that I swore to you that I would work hard to control the goldsickness and make you proud of Erebor in its new glory."</p><p>"What?! If your knee gave out, Oin should have treated you!"" Bilbo exclaimed worriedly, upsetting Lilac a little.</p><p>Kili grabbed the pony's reins to calm her as he sought to make the rider understand the King's words. "He fell to one knee because you are his One. That is how we honor our Ones in death."</p><p>Bilbo sputtered unbelievingly for a moment, as he had heard of the Ones when Gloin had spoken of his wife. But then he met Thorin's sharp blue eyes. The sincerity in them forced the hobbit to accept what he had heard. But their lives had changed since the emotions had been created between them. "I can't hold you to those feelings in my condition. The person you came to love is gone." He paused and took a deep breath, then admitted, "And I'm not sure that I can love you like I did before. I have changed too much."</p><p>Thorin didn't break eye contact. "You are my One. What you endured does not change that, nor does it change the feelings in my heart. I will accept that the pain from your ordeal may not allow you to feel the same as I do. But know that to me, your concerns are second only to keeping the kingdom safe. Whatever you need or want from me, I will provide."</p><p>There was a moment when Bilbo seemed to retreat behind a vision. But he struggled with it until he could gasp, "I will fight what the spiders have done to me so I am less of a burden to you." Saying that was all the fight he had left at that moment. He seemed to collapse after the last word was spoken.</p><p>True to his word, the King immediately acted for Bilbo's safety. Thorin had Tauriel shift the hobbit from his pony to Thorin's arms, where he could whisper in the hobbit's ear when he was ready to do battle with the visions again. But for now, he said, "You are the reason I live, Amralime. For your call on the ice brought the healers to me. You gave me love in that moment, and in others. I will return it to you now as I couldn't then. My wish is that my love can help you live and thrive, as your love has helped me do so."</p><p>Then he hummed softly as he bundled the hobbit underneath his cloak to try to send him to pleasant dreams.</p><p>----</p><p>Their arrival at Erebor nearly sent the whole mountain into chaos. For the King had sent his sister a message that the Dwarrow were returning, but he did not say that they wouldn't be alone.</p><p>Tauriel was greeted heartily as Kili's One. She was known and admired by many, especially the guards. She would often take time to teach them elvish battle tactics in the training room.</p><p>But when Thorin came in the front entrance still on his pony, many of the Dwarrow looked on in confusion.</p><p>"Thorin, what in the world--" Balin exclaimed as he and Dwalin walked up to the King while Dori called to the stablemaster.</p><p>Then the King parted his cloak to reveal the sleeping hobbit underneath.</p><p>"Bilbo!" was exclaimed by those of the Company who had stayed in Erebor. The word echoed against the iron doors, causing their burglar to wake with a startle.</p><p>Thorin automatically put an arm around the hobbit's waist to keep him from running, as sometimes visions were the first thing he saw when he woke. "We are home, Bilbo. The rest of the Company is here to greet us," the King said softly into the hobbit's ear.</p><p>Bilbo rubbed at his eyes and did his best to push the visions aside. He so wanted to see his friends. It was worth the effort, because he could see that they were there, with tears streaming down their cheeks. Even Dwalin's eyes were suspiciously gleaming.</p><p>And there wasn't an orc or spider in sight.</p><p>As soon as Bilbo spotted Ori and the tears on his face, the hobbit left his perch on the pony and ran to the young Dwarrow to comfort him. Nori, of course, followed him so that he didn't run off.</p><p>Soon, there was a crowd of twelve dwarves surrounding the hobbit, so Thorin quickly dismounted from the pony and handed him to the stablemaster. The King then ushered the group into a conference room. He was not surprised when his sister deemed to follow.</p><p>Questions flew at the five who had journeyed back as soon as the door closed. This time, Bilbo let Thorin start the tale, as the King could tell them of facts, while the hobbit only had impressions of how he was rescued, and most of those impressions involved orcs.</p><p>But once Thorin was finished, Balin and Dori carefully asked Bilbo what his new visions were like.</p><p>"Frightening," the hobbit said softly. "The make friends feel like enemies. I see shadows of orcs and spiders where there are none. I can't control any of it until I realize it's a vision. Then I can push it out of the way of what's really in front of me. But it's not easy to remember that they are visions. Especially at night." </p><p>Bilbo paced at one end of the meeting table before he turned back to the Company. He avoided the eyes of all of them, including a Dwarrowdam who looked very much like Thorin. "If you must know, I didn't want to come back." He put up a hand before the shouting became too loud. "Not because of any of you. I missed you all dearly, even when the spiders had me in their thrall. I would have visions of all of you. They kept me somewhat calm in the face of my ordeal."</p><p>The hobbit shrugged. "I didn't want to return because I didn't want to be a burden to Thorin or to any of you. This problem is my own. You should not have to coddle me when you have so much work to do."</p><p>His words made the shouting even louder until Thorin thumped a fist on the table. "I have not rescinded my promise to you, Burglar, nor will I," the King snapped. Then he took a deep breath to calm his temper before continuing. "Do not forget that the wound in your mind can be mortal if not treated with care."</p><p>"Mortal?!" Dori exclaimed.</p><p>"Yes!" Kili replied quickly, before Bilbo could stop him. "The other hobbits that the Elvenking tried to save died of fright."</p><p>"Then of course we will help with the treatment!" Oin exclaimed. So the twelve of the Company immediately planned a basic schedule so that Bilbo was not alone, or had someone in calling distance, throughout the day.</p><p>"I will see to his comfort at night," Thorin said, holding up a hand at Bilbo's protest. "During the day, the visions are easier to control. The night is difficult, so you would be best sleeping in my rooms. There is always at least one guard at my door during the night, so you need not worry that you will run and get lost."</p><p>"I will be the one at his door until we can train the others," Dwalin said firmly.</p><p>Bilbo sighed and agreed reluctantly. Part of him worried that needing his friends that much would cause them to turn away from him. But they insisted, and Thorin was right about dire consequences if he didn't try to resist the visions. That was so much easier to do with help.</p><p>So he let his friends lead him out of the meeting room and into the kitchen, where Bombur had just finished making some hobbit style tea cakes.</p><p>Once the hobbit and the other Dwarrow left, Dis turned to her brother. "He could die of fright?! That fragile halfling is your One?!" She did not try to hide the disdainful expression on her face.</p><p>Thorin's temper reignited at his sister's words. "Yes! And I will do everything in my power to keep him safe!"</p><p>"Let's hope that he doesn't cause the downfall of the mountain then, with his shouting about orcs at every turn." With that, Dis turned on her heel and left the meeting room.</p><p>It was many minutes until the anger at his sister abated enough that the King felt safe leaving the meeting room to check on his One.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Adjustments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The adjustments made for Bilbo's sake were not always simple. However, unlike the beginning of their journey, there was no mockery or complaints about any of them. The others eagerly explained that the orc in front of him was actually a guard or waved a lit torch in the corners of a room to show that no spiders lurked there. The fact that he was alive became the reason for their care. Because it was very nearly not so. And his life could be threatened again if the visions were allowed to get stronger.</p><p>They all took turns at being Bilbo's 'orc chaser', but a few, like Thorin and Dwalin, filled specific roles.</p><p>Bifur, in fact, was often the one to check in with the hobbit and to ensure that his companion of the hour was helping him fight the visions when needed. The eldest Ur knew better than the others how trauma could twist one's view. He had had his brothers to get him through the bad days after his injury. Bilbo now had twelve brothers, and all of them needed to watch over their youngest (in years, but perhaps not in maturity. That of course, fell to the youngest of the House of Durin.)</p><p>Bilbo didn't know what Bifur was saying when he snapped at Gloin or Fili or shook Ori awake. But he could see the dwarves look his way guiltily before coming over to check that he hadn't been harmed in their lapse.</p><p>Of course, it was not hard for any of them to lose attention around the hobbit, especially with his tendency toward quiet tasks. When Balin hung his head because he had become so lost in his paperwork that he forgot about the hobbit, Bilbo had to stop himself from screaming. It wasn't fair! They shouldn't have to watch over him! He shouldn't need it!</p><p>But he did need it.</p><p>For he did get lost in his visions, even when he was reading the history book Ori gave him, even when he was helping Bombur make lunch, even when he was talking of the Shire with Balin.</p><p>There were also times those friends were not enough to clear his sight. When that happened, he would often be guided to the throne room or one of the meeting rooms, to a chair placed behind the King. Then strands of hair would be draped over his hands.</p><p>The first time he came into a meeting, the miners who had come to speak to Thorin were outraged. The small Shireling had no business intruding on their very important business with the King (even though said King was trying to keep himself from dozing off during their long diatribes). But before they could do more than start complaining, Thorin cut them off with a sharp, "He stays. He is here because I help him endure the pain he was left with after being captured. He has no interest in cutting into your profits."</p><p>As the hobbit barely looked up from where his hands were wrapped around the King's hair, the miners soon were able to ignore him. They quickly returned to their heated discussion about a new vein of gold recently found. The head miner immediately wanted to move all of his men to work on this new vein.</p><p>Some of the miners, however, refused to do so.</p><p>Bilbo became more aware as Thorin discussed some details of the new vein. The King's voice soothed him and he was soon able to push the visions away.</p><p>But when Bofur worried that the vein did not lay deep in the rock, and would not bring much profit, Bilbo's mind began to make itself known. Then his voice came forth before he realized he had something to say. "Why not use only a few miners to scout that area more thoroughly before moving everyone? That way some profit is assured each day until the truth of the matter can be found out."</p><p>"A good suggestion, Master Baggins. I agree that the move should be done cautiously, especially since the deposits are in a more dangerous area." Thorin turned to the leader as the miners started whispering frantically. "Or do your people mean less to you than profit?"</p><p>The leader sputtered a bit, but both Bofur and Thorin let the others turn toward him in worry and anger. "Next time, inform your crew of all the facts," the King said coldly. Then he dismissed the group.</p><p>Once the miners left the throne room, Thorin turned to look at his One. "Are the visions gone?"</p><p>"For now," Bilbo replied softly. "Thank you."</p><p>"I should thank you, Amralime. Tarek needed to be reminded that not all profits are worth the expense." Thorin tugged on Bilbo's arm gently until the hobbit stood up and let himself be guided to stand in front of the King. "Thank you for that lesson. All lives are important because all can give. Even those who look much like grocers."</p><p>Bilbo laughed. "As well as stubborn headed dwarves who make good friends."</p><p>Thorin leaned his head until his forehead touched Bilbo's. "I am honored you believe so."</p><p>Then he reached into the pocket of his robe and pulled out the acorn that had become a promise of home and life for both of them. "Will you plant it here? Will you let your friends give you a home?"</p><p>Bilbo nodded as a tear rolled down his face. Thorin wondered whether it was from sorrow or joy. He was afraid to ask.</p><p>But that did not quiet the need to comfort his One, for even joy needed reassurance at times. The King wanted to say more, to tell the hobbit that he wanted this because he loved. But he remembered Bilbo's words earlier. Love was difficult for the hobbit right now, even the accepting of love from another. So Thorin decided to let actions speak his feelings. "Bofur, gather the others. We are not gardeners, but we will help our Burglar find a good spot for his oak. Both he and it shall thrive here."</p><p>"Of course. We'll meet you outside, um right after lunch?"</p><p>Thorin nodded. "That will do. It will give Bilbo some time to rest." He knew that the visions often wore the hobbit out because the battle to push them aside was difficult.</p><p>So Bofur went to talk with the others and have Bombur send a tray to Thorin's rooms.</p><p>The King gently took Bilbo's hand and guided him to the rooms they now shared. </p><p>Thorin's sister, who had been sitting in the corner and working on etching a set of knives, looked up as the Pair left the room. A thoughtful expression came over her face. And if there was a respectful tilt to her head, well, she wasn't quite ready to admit it.</p><p>----</p><p>When Thorin and Bilbo returned to the royal chambers, the hobbit immediately tried to shoo the King out. "Go shape some metal, like Ori says you like to do. You don't have to stay with me. You can put a guard right outside. It's not often that you get a break during the day, and I wouldn't be alone for long."</p><p>Thorin sighed. He hoped that his dismissal of Bilbo at the beginning of their journey wasn't the reason the hobbit kept trying to push all of them away at times.</p><p>But Thorin had made it clear to everyone that until Bilbo had better control of the visions, whoever was the orc chaser could not be further than the other end of the room.</p><p>The King knew that the inability to be alone rankled at the hobbit. But the consequences of a mistake were too dire. So despite Bilbo's tactics, he settled in the chair next to the small bed Bofur had placed in what used to be his personal meeting room. "I will wake you when Bombur brings the food tray."</p><p>Bilbo sighed. "Will you at least rest in your own bed? It hasn't been used since I returned."</p><p>"I dare not be that far away when you sleep, Amralime. Your screams have woken us both on more than one occasion. You seem to calm quicker if I talk to you before you try to run." Thorin reasoned in a relatively sensible way.</p><p>"Yes, but you get barely any sleep sitting in that chair and then you spend all day caring for the mountain!" Exasperated that the silly dwarf wasn't thinking of his own needs <em>at all</em>, Bilbo rose from his bed and marched out of the room.</p><p>Thorin quickly stood up to follow, but when he went into the sitting room, Bilbo was nowhere to be found.</p><p>The King had not heard the heavy outer door to the chambers squeak open, so he went into the bedroom he had abandoned when he brought Bilbo home.</p><p>There, in the middle of the bed, wrapped in furs, laid his One. "Come take a nap with me before Bombur gets here. And we are sleeping here tonight." The hobbit reached out his hand. "You need rest as much as I do."</p><p>Thorin climbed into the bed. A moment later, Bilbo curled his small body against the dwarf. "There, now you don't have to worry that you'll miss me running off."</p><p>Thorin hummed softly as he draped his hair over his One. A moment later, he was asleep.</p><p>Bilbo smiled before he also slipped into slumber.</p><p>An hour later, Bombur came in with their lunch tray. The noise woke the hobbit, but the King slept on.</p><p>So, glad to be clearheaded for once at waking, Bilbo went into the sitting room to eat his meal while talking with Bombur. He saved a plate for Thorin for when the dwarf woke.</p><p>'It was good to give care as well as receive it,' Bilbo thought. 'If I can convince him to accept it, this might work out for all of us.'</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Company gathered for the acorn planting after lunch. The group scouted around the borders of the mountain thoroughly before advising Bilbo on a proper place for his tree.</p><p>Kili and Fili each raced to point out what they thought was the best spot for the oak. The hobbit quickly dismissed the small grassy areas on the mountain, however. The soil was sparse and best suited for small brush.</p><p>The brothers Ur suggested near the secret entrance, as that held much meaning for all of them. Bilbo agreed that the spot was important but worried that the oak would not have enough room to spread its roots before encountering rock.</p><p>The Ri's supposed the field in front of the main entrance, where much of the Battle had taken place, would be a good area for planting. For the memories the oak contained would include those who had died for the mountain. The hobbit agreed that was a fine reason, and the soil was rich there. But it did not seem like the right spot.</p><p>Seeing that Bilbo was starting to become restless, Thorin guided the hobbit over to the vegetable garden Dis had planted. The hobbit delighted in the small patch of plants. It only had carrots, tomatoes, and radishes. But it was obviously cared for well. It made him wonder why Dis had not approached him other than for a simple welcome back.</p><p>But then he forgot his musings as he looked onto the land behind the garden. There was the perfect spot for his oak. Protected by the mountain, set away from everything, but close enough to the mountain's entrance to be a resting place for anybody waiting for a travelling party on their way home. So he called the others over.</p><p>As they cleared the spot and dug the hole, all of them spent time remembering the good parts of their journey back to the mountain. Most of those memories had Bilbo featured prominently. A rescue with words, sitting at camp telling stories, hope when they had given up. Those times had become very important to the Dwarrow as they spoke of the journey to others. They also influenced action. The hobbit's deeds and caring were why Thorin had risked the spiders to find Bilbo's possessions.</p><p>Finding Bilbo as well was just as joyous to the Company as coming home. So of course he needed to part of the mountain.</p><p>When the acorn was planted and the stories told, Thorin came over to Bilbo and dropped to one knee. "To us, you are no longer Bilbo Baggins of the Shire. You are Bilbo Baggins of Erebor, Dragonriddler and dwarf-friend." The King then kissed the hobbit's forehead before pressing his gently against it.</p><p>Bilbo wrapped his arms around Thorin's neck. "I am honored, as I am honored to call you friend."</p><p>Thorin closed his eyes for a moment, as he struggled to not want more from Bilbo. Then he promised himself that he would love his One because Bilbo should be loved. He was liked in return. He could not ask for more.</p><p>So he straightened and let the others truly welcome Bilbo home.</p><p>----</p><p>Later that evening, Bilbo sat in Thorin's chambers reading with Ori. The King was still in meetings. Bilbo expected Thorin to be gone until after the halls quieted, as he was talking to Dori and some of the other tailors and furniture craftsmen. Dori's arguments were never short. So the hobbit didn't expect the King back for an hour or more.</p><p>Luckily, it had been a calm day for Bilbo. He had been passed around to half of the Company and had felt well enough to help each with their tasks. Checking on the treasury with Nori, sorting healing supplies with Oin, copying letters for Balin, dinner with Bofur and Bifur, and now reading and discussing the Shire with Ori. He had only needed to be rescued from his visions four times, the least amount of any day so far.</p><p>So he was rather content in his musings until a knock sounded on the chamber door.</p><p>Ori stood up to answer it after assuring himself that Bilbo was clear-eyed. A moment later, he came back into the sitting room with Dis.</p><p>"Master Baggins, I would like to speak with you." Dis bowed formally as she made the request. She was acknowledging the hobbit as her brother's One. That made Bilbo supersede her in family matters, though it did not change the royal succession. Fili had explained this to Bilbo two days before, when the young Dwarrow had bowed before asking to escort the hobbit to the throne room so that Thorin could spend some time with Bilbo between meetings.</p><p>Of course, Bilbo didn't let the formality stand between himself and Fili. He had immediately rolled his eyes and demanded that the young Durin get on with the escort. But with Fili's mother, well, he needed to be more cautious. The hobbit wasn't sure why the Princess had mostly avoided him since his return to Erebor, so it was best to meet her terms.</p><p>So Bilbo bowed back to Dis, acknowledging her as the mother of the royal heirs. "Of course, Lady Dis. Please have a seat."</p><p>Dis sat in Thorin's chair. Bilbo wondered if she was making a statement by doing so. He sat in his own chair by the fire, never taking his eyes off Thorin's sister. Luckily, his visions only bothered the edge of his mind at that moment.</p><p>Ori seemed to sense that he didn't belong in the conversation, so he whispered to Bilbo that he would be in the hobbit's bedroom in case he was needed. Then he retreated to finish his book.</p><p>Once they were alone, the Dwarrowdam said pointedly, "I do my best to help my brother rule. I am still unsure of your place in this kingdom. But I do know that I will not let you harm him. I have been watching you carefully, yet I cannot tell what your intentions are." Her tone was sharp, but the hobbit thought she wasn't as annoyed as she sounded.</p><p>However, the hobbit was now beginning to get annoyed. "As I have helped him reclaim this mountain, I will do my best to not bring it down upon him," Bilbo replied angrily. "I did not ask to be his other half. I expected to die with the spiders. I had no hope of rescue. And now that I'm here, I try to not demand of him. I would be thankful if he only gave me a moment of his time here and there. But the fool spends every night helping me fight my nightmares. He will not let me push him away. He will not let my sickness take me, even though I suggested it might be best a time or two. I am not trying to harm him. I am trying to survive so that I do not harm him. Because he loves me."</p><p>Dis sat back in the chair, looking a bit startled. "Your death would not help him or the others, Master Baggins. Nor would I suggest it."</p><p>"Sometimes I believe that my continued existence harms them. I may get better, but my visions will most likely never stop. But I do not want to leave them. I don't want to leave Thorin." Bilbo sighed.</p><p>"Do you love my brother?" the Dwarrowdam asked in a softer tone.</p><p>"Of course I do! How can I not? He is both the most exasperating and most loyal dwarf I ever met. I only said that I couldn't love him to give him a little space. He shouldn't be preoccupied by sickness when he has other things to do." The hobbit looked into the fire wearily.</p><p>"You are not the only one who fights sickness. He does as well. He has me watch him for signs of it so that he does not frighten you." Dis shook her head. "He told me that he threatened your life when it first came about."</p><p>"The goldsickness still plagues him?!" Bilbo stood up and started pacing in front of the fire.</p><p>"Yes. Much less then when your group retook the mountain. But it plagues him, often at night. I believe he wasn't sleeping much even before your return. His nightly struggles now have more purpose." Dis leaned toward the hobbit. "Perhaps revealing your affection will help you both. I do know that he fears being too affectionate with you. He does not want you to reject him, for your well being. He is afraid that you would  want to leave after doing so. But he has told me that the effort to hide his affection is making the struggle with the gold harder."</p><p>"Oh! Stubborn dwarves! He has told me nothing of this! Very well, I will tell him how I feel. But I will temper it if it pressures him." Bilbo's pacing sped up.</p><p>"He has argued with me for hiding my discontent from him. You should expect similar."</p><p>"And yet he hides his feelings from us, does he not?" Bilbo stopped in front of the Dwarrowdam and shot her a disgruntled look.</p><p>Dis nodded and let a smile settle on her face.</p><p>"He shall hear me out, then! He deserves help with his affliction as much as I do." Bilbo's eyes shifted to look suspiciously at a corner of the room. "I thank you for this discussion. But if you would excuse me, I need to do battle before my sickness overtakes me."</p><p>"Tell me what to do so I may help."</p><p>With that, Ori came out of Bilbo's bedroom. If the visions hadn't been starting to plague the hobbit, he most certainly would have raised his eyebrow at the young Dwarrow for listening at the door. But he needed help focusing, so Ori asked the hobbit where the orcs were.</p><p>As Bilbo pointed them out in each spot, Ori stood in that spot to prove that no orcs were there and said so. So Dis stood up and took the next spot near the royal bedroom. "I know neither Thorin nor you would allow orcs in this room."</p><p>"The only thing allowed in there other than ourselves is love, my Lady."</p><p>"Good. Then let us find the rest of your apparitions so you can talk to Thorin when he returns." Dis waited for the next spot to investigate.</p><p>After Bilbo's visions calmed, Thorin came into the room. "Dis? Is there something wrong?" he asked worriedly, looking from his sister to his One.</p><p>"No, brother. I was just helping Master Baggins so that he may talk to you about something important." With that, the Dwarrowdam ushered Ori out of the quarters and closed the door.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Lies and Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thorin turned to Bilbo after watching his sister leave. "I will listen to whatever you wish to tell me." Then, checking that the guards were by the chamber door, he took the hobbit's hand to guide him back to their chairs.</p><p>"Even if I tell you that I lied earlier?" the hobbit asked softly as he bowed his head, not meeting the King's eyes.</p><p>"Lied?" Thorin frowned. He turned to face the hobbit as they sat down. The King did his best to tamp down the feelings that surged through him. The last time Bilbo had lied, Thorin had flown into a rage and nearly killed the hobbit. It was best to avoid doing that again, for he suspected that he would not be forgiven a second time.</p><p>"About my affection for you." Bilbo said quietly. "I didn't want to bind you to me in my condition..."</p><p>The King was at first confused. Then he began worrying. The hobbit's words were troubling. And when Thorin was troubled, his temper tended to flare.</p><p>"What are you saying?" Thorin's voice rose in anger. "You hate me?! I have tried to not force my feelings on you. I have done my best to let the others help care for you even when I preferred to be the one by your side! What have I done wrong?!"</p><p>Bilbo nearly bounded out of his chair in agitation. "Oh, Blast it! No! I didn't say that you silly--Amra...Ama? What is that word?!"</p><p>"Amralime?" Thorin's voice suddenly dropped to a whisper as his eyes widened. Was he wrong about Bilbo's feelings? Oh, he so hoped that they were not what he imagined moments ago.</p><p>"Yes! It is affectionate, isn't it?" The hobbit went over to Thorin and laid his hand on the King's scarred and calloused one. The soft touch calmed the Dwarrow easily. The hobbit's eyes were shining when Thorin dared to meet them. </p><p>"It means 'my love.'" Thorin bowed his head, still worrying a bit. "If you do not wish me to use it, I will stop."</p><p>Bilbo sighed as he watched the King's hair fall over his hand. Had he pushed Thorin too far away in his attempt to keep him safe? Had he been too harsh? The hobbit knew that magic or the Valar, or something not usually in the hands of mere mortals connected the Dwarrow with their loves. Had he accidentally ripped that away and wounded Thorin?</p><p>"I'm sorry for forcing you to hide your feelings. Dis told me it was hurting you. I wanted you to be able to leave my side if my visions became too much for you to handle. I never intended to make your gold sickness worse." Bilbo knelt at the King's feet. "Tell me that I'm not too late in asking for your affection. I do love you. I said otherwise to try to protect you."</p><p>Thorin shook his head. "My love already had bound me to you, Amralime. Your love simply makes our arrangement easier. But are you sure? I do not wish to force..."</p><p>"You cannot force me, Thorin. I love you because you are the stubborn, mad, gentle and loyal dwarf who took me on an adventure. I loved you just for that. The proof was in my pack." Bilbo pulled an object out of his omnipresent coat and held it out. "Look, but do not touch. I don't want you to become ill from the gold."</p><p>"I've done my best to ward it off, especially now. Becoming goldsick while helping you fight your visions would be disastrous." Thorin looked at the object in the hobbit's hand. It was the coin they had found in Bilbo's pack when they were in Mirkwood. On it was stamped a likeness of Durin the Deathless. "I had wondered why you only carried one coin back to the Shire."</p><p>Bilbo's face reddened. Yet he explained, "I only wanted this one, because he reminds me of you. Despite his long beard."</p><p>"I can grow my beard long if you'd like it that way." The King ran a few fingers over his chin.</p><p>"Then I'd get completely lost in your hair and nobody would ever find me. It's best that you keep it short." Bilbo reached up to touch the silky hairs on Thorin's cheek.</p><p>Thorin nodded with a shrug. "As you wish."</p><p>"That's it? No arguments?" Bilbo asked with a suspicious glance.</p><p>"Not if your affection is true. In this, I am yours to command. I had wanted it so since you first commented on our facial hair." Thorin smiled when Bilbo let out a chuckle.</p><p>"I had never seen such intricate braids before. But the first thing that attracted me to you was your glorious hair and the way it framed your face so well. Your short beard means I can see when your expression changes. And I love how it helps make your eyes shine when you smile." The hobbit blushed when he finished speaking but kept his eyes locked with the King's.</p><p>"I never dared to hope until now that your affection was true." Thorin bowed his head.</p><p>"It is, my love. But how can this work?" Bilbo stood up to try to focus on Thorin and away from the visions that were starting to creep in. "The visions interrupt so much. I'm not sure I can be what you need."</p><p>"I need my One, so yes you are what I need," Thorin gently retorted before kissing Bilbo's forehead. "I would like to feel all the joys of love with you. We will find a way to keep your visions away."</p><p>"I do want that too. But I fear it will frustrate you. You are not patient when it comes to your wants." The hobbit tried not to appear worried, but he could could see the chiding in the King's eyes. </p><p>"I will learn patience if it means holding you closer."</p><p>Bilbo leaned his head on Thorin's shoulder. "I want that too." He twined a hand into the King's hair to chase away the orcs he could see at the edges of his vision.</p><p>"Shall we see if your mind will let your visions rest when we are intertwined?" Thorin asked softly. "I will not ask for more than that this night. But for once I wish to hold you out of love as well as for your safety."</p><p>Bilbo nodded into Thorin's shoulder. "Being in your arms is wonderful. I am just frightened...of myself. It bothers me."</p><p>"We share that," Thorin whispered as he tilted the hobbit's head up. "For I fear myself as well, every time I am near the treasury. I would feel better if someone would prevent me from wandering the halls at night."</p><p>"I suppose I can do that," Bilbo said with a smile.</p><p>"But I will not have you do so on an empty stomach. Bombur sent you cakes and tea so that you may sleep well." Thorin gestured to the small table at Bilbo's side.</p><p>The hobbit grinned and grabbed a small cake to nibble on. "You all spoil me so."</p><p>"We have much to thank you for. Our home, our lives, even our allies. And we care for you. Why not spoil you so you stay near?" The King smiled.</p><p>Bilbo held out a piece of cake to Thorin, one that he knew was made for the King, as it contained blackberries. "You should be spoiled a bit as well. You've had to adjust to me yet again."</p><p>Rather than taking the cake, Thorin bit into it as Bilbo held it. There was such a trusting quality to the action (and trust was so carefully given by the King), that it made the hobbit shiver.</p><p>Thorin did not miss the sign of Bilbo's want. "Finish your tea," the Dwarrow whispered, "then we can learn more of each other."</p><p>The hobbit barely resisted the urge to gulp his tea. But it was chamomile, something best savored. So he pulled Thorin into a discussion about his sister and her penchant for interfering. As he expected, his questions to the King gave way to a rather amusing set of stories about Thorin's young adulthood (by Dwarrow standards) with an annoying set of little siblings. Bilbo smiled behind his teacup. It was good to hear Thorin speak happily of his family. Too many events had almost clouded those memories.</p><p>Once the stories and the tea were finished, it was almost natural to take Thorin's hand and guide him to the bedroom. There, they turned away from each other to strip to their smallclothes. Then, with red faces, they slipped into the bed they had slept in together for many nights.</p><p>It may have been the same bed, but the way the pair saw each other had changed. So, instead of Bilbo facing away from Thorin so the King could wrap around him protectively, he turned to face his love. The hobbit reached out with shaking hands and traced the beard he so admired.</p><p>Thorin kissed the trembling fingers. "Amralime," he whispered. The endearment took on new importance now that Bilbo knew what it meant. So he kissed the King's eyelids and strong nose before sighing, "I love you, too."</p><p>"I am yours, Bilbo. Touch as you like." A strong hand brushed gently through the hobbit's curls but the rest of Thorin was still. For the King suspected that the visions retreated under the force of the hobbit's will, much like his fears. Letting him explore would rid him of the last of his doubt and hopefully keep the visions at bay.</p><p>What Thorin didn't anticipate was the pleasure that came with that exploration. While he expected to watch Bilbo enjoy himself, he didn't expect those simple touches to have him moaning and leaning into each and every one.</p><p><em>That was the very thing that kept the visions at bay.</em> Bilbo knew he and Thorin were the only ones in that room because he was the reason Thorin made those sounds. So when he tired, he gently pressed his lips to the King's and curled into the shoulder he had caressed moments ago. </p><p>Thorin was surprised to find he was not frustrated at the end of the touches, but oddly satisfied by Bilbo's understanding that what pleased him would also please Thorin, including abandoning the heat of passion for the comfort of being wrapped around each other.</p><p>So the King wrapped himself around his One and fell asleep more satisfied than when he first sat on the throne of Erebor.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Mountain Accepts Those with Strength</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Waking in the arms of the King should not be easy, Bilbo thought. But it was. It was easy to bask in his warmth, it was easy to feel the strong muscles shift under his fingertips. It was even easy to push the vision of spiders away as the sunlight from an intricate set of mirrors illuminated the room.</p><p>The hobbit's relieved sigh woke Thorin. "Are you well, Amralime?" he whispered, pulling back slightly to see if there were shadows in Bilbo's eyes.</p><p>"That was the best sleep I had in quite awhile," Bilbo whispered back. "I don't suppose we can stay in bed."</p><p>"Ask me tomorrow, and I will say yes, for Balin schedules me days of rest. Today, however, Bard comes by to check on the ironworks to repair Dale's fences."</p><p>"Should I stay out of the way then?" Bilbo asked with a worried glance at the King.</p><p>Thorin chuckled. "The King of Dale would call me a traitor to the peace between us if I did not immediately let him see you when he arrives. Nori said that Bard was informed of your return three days after I rode through Erebor's entrance. I'm surprised he waited this long to set eyes upon you."</p><p>"The wait was most likely due to the fact that Bard was also informed of Bilbo's trials. By the King of Greenwood, if I'm not mistaken," Balin said as he put some papers on the table outside the bedroom. "He knew Bilbo needed time to adjust before he could handle...diplomatic niceties."</p><p>Both Thorin and Bilbo had gotten used to the advisor walking in every morning to help Thorin plan his day. But given the change in their relationship and the events of the night before, the bedmates started to blush.</p><p>Balin just smiled. "I'll expect your door will be closed the next time I come in with the morning report."</p><p>"It may be," Thorin admitted. Bilbo didn't say a word, but he somehow resisted the urge to hide under the furs.</p><p>Balin chuckled. "Such things are good for my old heart to see. Just remember that I will be the one to remind you of your appointments for the day. It won't matter if I make you angry or not."</p><p>Bilbo finally lost enough of his embarrassment to leave the bed and start dressing. He looked towards Balin as he found his clean shirt. "If you have a list the night before, I will remind him before you come in."</p><p>"Aye, laddie, I can do that for most of his appointments." Balin nodded before he swung the bedroom door shut. The King and his One could hear a few of Bombur's cooks come in with their breakfast. So they finished dressing quickly.</p><p>A few minutes later, the Pair came out of the bedroom holding hands. Both wore formal clothes, to be able to welcome Bard when he arrived.</p><p>Thorin guided Bilbo to sit at the meeting table in the corner to eat his breakfast. A handful of servants and advisors vied for the King's attention. But Thorin would not be disturbed until he served both himself and Bilbo enough food to get them through the morning (including snacks tucked into a pouch for Bilbo). The hobbit was amazed at how utterly unfazed the people around them were by Thorin's priorities. It was as if they expected their King to cater to Bilbo.</p><p>But when one of Thorin's advisors came in late and bowed to both Thorin and Bilbo, well the hobbit was rather startled. He wasn't royalty. There was no reason for anyone to bow to him.</p><p>The King reached out and put a hand on the hobbit's shoulder when he saw the agitation. "You are the savior of Erebor, and my One. It is expected."</p><p>"Oh," Bilbo said softly. "Everyone knows...because of the funeral?"</p><p>"Yes," Thorin said as he handed Bilbo his tea. "I would not hide my feelings for you after Ori spoke of your love. I immediately fell to my knee." The King shook his head as Bilbo frowned. "You deserve such affection and for my people to know that I give it to you. There is esteem to be had in both. You are equal to Dis in the mountain. So my people wish to know that you deserve your place."</p><p>Bilbo stared at Thorin in shock. "My condition..."</p><p>"Shows that you endure while contributing to the mountain," Thorin said proudly.</p><p>"Aye," Balin said. "Dis has already said that you watch over Thorin's goldsickness while he cares for you. This has many cheering you." </p><p>The King nodded. "Your visions were numerous the first few days we were back, so you most likely did not see those who watched over you from a distance in case you became frightened. For they remembered the stories about you. Your past deeds have made it easier for us to help you."</p><p>"Not everyone thinks that way, Your Majesty," said the advisor who came in late, somewhat timidly. "I have heard whispers from a small group of iron craftsmen that they believe Lord Baggins is making you weak."</p><p>"Are you also of that opinion, Karad?" Thorin growled softly.</p><p>"Of course not, Your Majesty. His presence has lifted the sadness that had plagued you," Karad replied quickly and firmly.</p><p>Satisfied that his advisor on repairs and structures did not sound like the simpering deputy that they had met in Laketown, Thorin questioned him further after getting Balin's attention. "Where do they say my weakness lies?"</p><p>"They say that he is fooling you, that his visions are nonsense. They assume that he will attempt to steal your crown at some point during your care for him." </p><p>"That is utterly ridiculous!" Bilbo exclaimed suddenly. "I am a hobbit. We don't even have kings, nor do we care to."</p><p>"But you choose to live under this one, so some assume you wish to usurp authority for the purpose of power." Karad bowed his head respectfully to indicate he was not of that opinion.</p><p>Thorin laid a hand on Bilbo's arm to calm him before he started railing at the advisor about the ways of hobbits. Then he turned back to Karad. "Are they a threat?"</p><p>The advisor looked pained for a moment before admitting, "I am not sure, Your Majesty. I am not well versed in the spying crafts."</p><p>That was to be expected. Karad had come with Dain to help maintain the battle wagons and the armor. Given Dain's tendency to make enemies quicker than he made friends, Karad most likely had no time to learn another craft even if he had the interest to.</p><p>"I will have Nori check them out," Balin said quickly as the King began to frown.</p><p>Thorin nodded. "Tell him I want some information by tomorrow night. In the meantime, Bilbo should have at least two people with him at all times during the day."</p><p>"I will assign him a guard as well as check with Bifur and Bofur about his orc chasers for the next two days," Dwalin said as he stared at Bilbo's bowl of fruits. "You eat that? Some of those things are blue."</p><p>That was just distracting enough for Bilbo to push his encroaching visions away. "Yes. They are sweet and they match Thorin's tunic. You should try one." Then the hobbit laughed as Dwalin's face twisted in disgust.</p><p>"I have the perfect person to watch over our hobbit," Dwalin said as he turned to Thorin. "She's one of Nori's group. She is much like Bilbo. She looks quite unassuming. But she would have helped with the barrel escape from Mirkwood and would have caught onto Bilbo's plan quicker than even Nori did. She would have been help to you as well. For she does know how to swim." The strong Dwarrow eyed the Company's fourteenth member and winced as he remembered how Thorin had held onto Bilbo for dear life during their ride in the water. They had all been extremely relieved that the hobbit had made it to dry land with them, despite having to fight the current and his own lack of skill.</p><p>"Unassuming, am I?" a voice sounded from the corner of the room. </p><p>Bilbo turned and gasped at the dark face that he found.</p><p>Dwalin quickly grabbed his shoulders to keep him from running. "She is not an orc, Bilbo. She is from Harad. This is Tala."</p><p>"At your service, Lord Baggins." The dark-skinned Dwarrowdam in light armor bowed then eyed the hobbit. "Why can you not swim, my Lord?"</p><p>"Um, hobbits don't go in water except to bathe," Bilbo replied with an uncomfortable expression.</p><p>"I can teach you. It is a skill Dwarrow learn early in life." Tala did not mock him for what he did not know, as even the Company did before they realized his lack of knowledge was due to a different way of life. She simply accepted and offered services.</p><p>But that different way of life didn't allow Bilbo to realize that she was also offering something else, for Dwarrow most often swam unclothed. But his One knew immediately.</p><p>"<em>I </em>will teach him," Thorin said sharply. There was a possessive quality to his tone that immediately had the others taking a step back. "The royal bath is big enough. You shall concentrate on keeping away threats."</p><p>Tala shrugged. She had asked to assess the hobbit's loyalty. The Dwarrowdam was satisfied, as Bilbo had grabbed Thorin's hand as soon as his tone changed. "Of course. Searching for hidden threats is what I am best at."</p><p>"Do not ignore what your charge says," Nori said as he suddenly appeared behind Tala. "Although many of the threats he sees are illusions, our Burglar's cleverness is still within him. As he has not found a way to tell us which are from the poison and which are real, investigate everything."</p><p>Just then Bilbo jerked away from the table and the Dwarrow who had suddenly come up to him.</p><p>"Your point is taken, Sir," Tala said as she quickly pulled Carek, the rather ambitious jewel carver away from Bilbo. "Carek, this is a royal advisors' meeting. The craft meetings are in the throne room in an hour."</p><p>"He needs jewels in his hair..." Carek looked to Thorin. The greed in his eyes made Thorin look away. It was too much like the gleam the Company said was in his eyes when he was goldsick</p><p>"<em>Lord Baggins</em> will make that decision," Thorin snapped as he stood and went around the table to comfort his One. "And you are not to approach him without his permission."</p><p>Tala put herself in between the craftsman and the hobbit. "I will be the one listening for that yea or nay. You know how well I can hear." Her snide tone suggested that she had heard things from Carek that the King would not like if he were told.</p><p>Dwalin shifted to remove Carek, but the craftsman shot them all a look of disgust before marching out the open door.</p><p>"I will start my investigation with him and his associates," Nori said dryly.</p><p>"And we will start our day by meeting Bard at the entrance. That is if you do not mind, Amralime." Thorin reached for Bilbo's hand.</p><p>The hobbit grabbed his snack pouch then took his love's hand. "That is a lovely idea. I want to hear of Dale and tell him of my new home."</p><p>They walked out of the chambers together, trusting that the Dwarrow trailing behind them were not the ones they needed to worry about.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Fire!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bard appeared very relieved as he walked in the grand entrance with his two daughters. "You look better than I thought, Master Baggins. Thranduil spoke as if you had barely stepped away from death's door."</p><p>"He was worried," Bilbo said softly as they approached. He then jumped as the King of Dale dropped to his knees in front of him.</p><p>Thorin moved closer to Bilbo's side, as if to shield him. But it soon became apparent that the King of Dale was at hobbit height to reassure himself of Bilbo's condition. Bard smiled as he realized that Bilbo was recovering nicely.</p><p>That did not budge Thorin an inch. When he realized that Thorin was staring at him intently, Bard shifted his gaze to the King, then back to the hobbit with a sigh. "Why him, Bilbo?"</p><p>"Why did you choose that elf?!" Thoron countered before Bilbo could say a word.</p><p>"What elf?" the hobbit exclaimed in confusion as he looked between the two Kings.</p><p>"Thranduil." Both Kings said in unison. Thorin's tone held a hint of scorn, but it was less than his usual loathing. Most likely that was due to the Elvenking's caring for Bilbo. But what interested the hobbit was the breathless catch in Bard's voice when he said the name, and the way his girls rolled their eyes.</p><p>"Ohh," Bilbo murmured as he began to realize why Thranduil had stopped looking down his nose at everyone.</p><p>Then suddenly Sigrid approached the hobbit. "I'm glad you're getting better, Bilbo," she said, sincerely looking relieved. Then, after he smiled his thanks, the young woman turned to her father. "Da, can I...?" She pointed in the direction of the royal wing.</p><p>Both Kings groaned, but Bard nodded to the request.</p><p>As she ran off, Bilbo (who had seen a fair share of courtships that parents weren't fond of amongst his cousins) asked, "Who did she choose?"</p><p>"Fili," Thorin bit out. Although he made a good show at anger, he sounded more resigned to the idea than upset.</p><p>Bilbo laughed. It seemed that all the Durins were finding love in unexpected places. "Good, She'll keep him from being too mischievous."</p><p>"Or he'll teach her to get into trouble," Bard sighed as he looked to the hall Sigrid had run down. But then he moved his gaze back to Bilbo. "Please tell me your stubborn dwarf hasn't tried to handle too much on his own. For if you need more aid, I can send for Maude. She is the best healer we have."</p><p>Bilbo looked to Thorin, as he was not sure how much he was taxing the Company. He had only started to be aware of the conditions of his friends lately.</p><p>Thorin shook his head. "We have not worn thin as much as Elrond had feared. His warning helped us plan. But when we visit Dale, can we call upon your healer?"</p><p>"Of course. And we will welcome you whenever you think it is best," Bard said with a smile to Bilbo.</p><p>The hobbit felt an awkward moment, as he wasn't sure what to tell Bard. He knew that he needed a bit more time before he ventured into unfamiliar places. But before the silence could get too awkward, Tilda came up to Bilbo and showed him the toy she was holding. It was one of Bifur's carvings of him. "Did you turn the trolls to stone?" she asked.</p><p>"No, no, child. Gandalf let the sunlight into the glade. I just kept them from hurting my friends until he could." Bilbo's face turned a bit red. He wasn't a wizard. He didn't need the accolades of one.</p><p>Tilda didn't notice his discomfort as she continued. "You're brave like my Da. Bain doesn't think so. But Sigrid does. She says it's brave to stay to watch over someone."</p><p>"Your sister is right. It is brave to stay in danger to keep others safe or to comfort them. And Bilbo is quite good at it," Thorin replied with a smile.</p><p>Tilda nodded. "I'll stay with you when you come to Dale, Mr. Bilbo. I'll help you not be scared."</p><p>"I'd like that very much." Bilbo smiled at the young girl. "I would like to pay you for your kind services. Perhaps some tea and a story in the kitchen while your father talks with Thorin?"</p><p>Tilda nodded, so Bilbo guided her to the kitchen as the Kings walked behind them and discussed the repairs of both cities.</p><p>----</p><p>When they arrived at the kitchen with Tala trailing a few paces behind them, Bombur was nowhere to be found. According to the other cooks, he was helping Dis with the garden. So Bilbo grabbed the tea kettle and a few cakes and sat in one corner with Tilda.</p><p>There, he told her about Beorn's house. The antics of the animals there made her giggle, and the idea of honey on the roof of one's house made her gasp in delight.</p><p>They had just started discussing the best way to catch butterflies (which were returning to Dale this year), when they heard a loud 'boom' nearby.</p><p>Bilbo immediately looked for Tala, who was by the door. "What is it?"</p><p>"I'm not sure, my Lord. It's coming from the forges."</p><p>Tilda gasped, as Bard had told her he would be visiting the forges to check on the fences.</p><p>Bilbo whispered reassuring nonsense to the young girl, then asked Tala to see what was happening. The hobbit was not concerned for himself, but for Tilda. She knew her father had nearly died by dragon fire. It was best to reassure her of his condition quickly. So Tala headed in the direction of the forges.</p><p>But then a blast of flame shot past the kitchen door. Tilda screamed. The cooks ran out of the room in a desperate rush.</p><p>Bilbo was ready to grasp Tilda's hand as another flame shot past the kitchen. Bilbo stared at the open door a moment and shook his head. It wasn't safe to leave. Not when he didn't know why those flames were there.</p><p>So he coaxed the young girl into a corner of the room, a small space where the brick oven was between them and the open door. "Tilda, let's sit over here. It's safer."</p><p>"Is Da burnt?!" the child cried as she let herself be led.</p><p>"I don't know. But he would want you to be safe. So let's sit here for a few minutes until the flames stop." Bilbo pulled Tilda to sit on the floor. As he did, he heard Dwarrow running past the kitchen towards the forges. A moment later, there was a yell for water. Stomping and loud hisses followed.</p><p>Tilda trembled into Bilbo's shoulder, but he didn't hear her make a sound. The hobbit supposed that the war had changed her as it had everyone. She had been told or had learned that being quiet was safer in the unknown.</p><p>Bilbo too was learning to not make a sound. For he could see orcs in the corner of the kitchen. But they did not move or yell. Trying to push them away seemed to help, so he ignored the ones that appeared near the tables. Instead, he turned back to Tilda and held her close.</p><p>It took some time for the noises outside the room to stop. Bilbo wasn't sure how long it was, but his legs were cramped by the time he shifted to get a better view of the door.</p><p>He couldn't see any flame, or anyone nearby. So he cautiously stood up while urging Bard's youngest to stay in the corner. All was quiet, so he edged towards the door.</p><p>Suddenly he heard a loud yell, so he backed away.</p><p>Then he heard it again. "Bo!" It echoed against the stone of the wall outside the kitchen. Then a loud whine sounded and a shouted 'Bo!" again.</p><p>Was that arrogant frustration that he heard in that syllable that rang through the mountain? Bilbo hoped it was. He thought it was. So he shouted "Thorin!" towards the door.</p><p>Suddenly, there was stomping sounds headed toward the kitchen.</p><p>A moment later, two Kings burst through the door. Bard headed straight to the corner where his daughter sat. The King Under the Mountain, however, approached his One slowly. "Are you or the child hurt, Bilbo?" Thorin asked cautiously.</p><p>"No. Are you? What happened?" Bilbo took a step towards Thorin. Once assured that the hobbit didn't see him as a vision, Thorin wrapped his strong arms securely around Bilbo.</p><p>"One of the forges fractured. The stone surrounding the fire broke and sent the fire streaming out. I'm not sure how it happened. The thirteen of us checked the forges the day before...your ceremony. We didn't find any damage from the dragon." Thorin said this into Bilbo's hair, as he seemed reluctant to move from that spot.</p><p>By that point, Bilbo knew that his beloved was at his most rigid when he was frightened. So he sought to reassure Thorin. "I didn't dare take the young one out of this room. I didn't know when the fire would shoot past us." Then he pulled on the King's braids gently until he could rub his forehead against Thorin's and give the King a gentle kiss.</p><p>"Then you did well, my burglar. For we had trouble getting the fire under control until the water was brought in." Thorin's lips met Bilbo's again, this time with more demand and more heat.</p><p>Bilbo gave in to the passion between them just for a moment before pulling back for the sake of Bard and his child. Then he remembered that their party had numbered one more. "What of Tala? Was she hurt?"</p><p>"No, she and your spy are beginning to look for clues concerning the fracture. The spy asked that Thorin stay by your side today, if you can tolerate meetings." Bard smiled as he held his daughter close.</p><p>"I believe I can survive one day of meetings if the others are needed to search for clues." Bilbo smiled back. "You have a very brave daughter, King Bard."</p><p>"I do." Bard said softly. "She has a good start on being as brave as you."</p><p>Bilbo blushed, but Thorin stopped the hobbit's protest with a frown. "Let's head to the throne room. Bard wants to talk to the ironworkers. And perhaps we may find clues of our own that will help Nori."</p><p>So the four gathered themselves and headed back to their tasks, shaken but whole.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Love or Clues?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Running a little late, but here it is!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The meetings the Kings had that morning were useful, for they allowed a few clues to become clear. Bard and Thorin quickly found that the ironworkers seemed overly nervous around them. When Bard inspected the iron fences, some of the workers seemed to stand in front of certain sections. Bard made note to have Thorin, and perhaps Nori, look at those sections later.</p><p>The jewelers too, seemed awkward as Thorin asked for a silver necklace be made for his One. They seemed reluctant to craft it at first. But the King was insistent. </p><p>For Bilbo had recovered enough that it was time to court him properly. The King knew there was love between them, but when he watched Bilbo, he believed the hobbit didn't completely trust his words. Bilbo hesitated before reaching for him, and his own words of love were soft and shy. Thorin believed he understood why this was. Bilbo could not trust his own sight. So he might believe he was wrong about other things as well.</p><p>Thorin knew courting the hobbit would be difficult. He needed to be gentle with his One. But he did not need to be so with the Dwarrow who were trying to thwart his simple request for a courting gift. He was not being unreasonable. Why were they acting as if he was? He growled his displeasure until Bilbo gave him a disapproving look.</p><p>The King then sighed and went back to a more reasonable negotiation with the jewelers. He tried to not roll his eyes when he saw Dis smile at him from the opposite corner, where she was talking with Dwalin. Of course she liked Bilbo's action now that she realized he could sway Thorin into calming himself.</p><p>Though the hobbit also bore tendencies that were difficult. Bilbo protested the necklace once he realized who it was for. It was not something hobbits found useful. Thorin knew he would refuse it if not made to understand its significance. So the King put his newly-found patience to the test. He went over to the set of chairs where Bilbo sat with Tilda. Thorin then knelt in front of the hobbit.</p><p>Bilbo's eyes widened at his love's action. "Thorin!" He knew that the regal being in front of himself should not be kneeling to anyone in this place. What was so important that Thorin would risk being frowned upon by his people?</p><p>"Please let me commission the necklace, Amralime." Thorin said softly as he gazed at the hobbit. He did not realize his regal attire gave him a magical quality as he looked beseechingly into his One's eyes. But Bilbo noticed, and he barely resisted saying 'Yes' just because the King looked like love itself.</p><p>"Why?" Bilbo asked instead, trying to be reasonable. He didn't need jewels. But he did want Thorin, so he had to know what  the necklace meant to the King.</p><p>"So the people may see that I am courting you?" Thorin suggested hesitantly. Would his words make the hobbit refuse?</p><p>Bilbo was taken aback for a moment. "But courting is for marriage!"</p><p>"Do you not want to get married?" Thorin worried even more as he watched his One. This was not what the King wanted to hear. But he did his best to hold back his anger. He had won the hobbit's love. He could win more if he was patient.</p><p>"Well, um, I haven't really thought about it." The hobbit whispered as he contemplated what he had thought he would be while in Erebor. That he would be Thorin's love, but hidden away, not talked about. The king had said he wanted Bilbo to be accepted by the people, but Bilbo thought his illness would stop that somehow. So now that Thorin said it again, he was at a loss for words.</p><p>"I would marry you to tell you that you have a place by my side always," the King said softly as he laid his hands on Bilbo's knees. "And I would have everyone know that. So may I have the necklace made?"</p><p>The hobbit was more than pleased with that thought, but something bothered him. "Yes, yes. But keep it simple, please. I don't need anything big." Bilbo said nervously. The biggest finery he had had on his person before the journey had been his brass buttons. Anything bigger than those would draw too much attention. And that might not be good for the King's rule.</p><p>Of course," Thorin replied as he touched his forehead to the hobbit's. "Just something to remind you that I am near."</p><p>Bilbo breathed a sigh of relief. "I'd like that." For if Thorin had a hand in its creation, looking at it would most likely remind Bilbo of the moment Thorin pledged himself to him.</p><p>So Thorin waved the jewelers over to let them show Bilbo designs that they thought would be fitting.</p><p>The King took a step back to watch the interaction. He did not like what he saw. The jewelers showed the hobbit big ostentatious jewels and settings more fit for giants than hobbits. Nothing of the simple type that Bilbo requested appeared.</p><p>In fact, that seemed to completely ignore Bilbo's words. This began to stir Thorin's temper. But he forgot even Bilbo had moments of anger. The hobbit stomped his foot. "Are you going to show me something I want to see, or should I get Bofur to carve my necklace?" Bilbo snapped.</p><p>A few of the jewelers looked to Thorin, but the King just gazed back at them quietly. Thorin knew Bilbo could handle the situation, and perhaps gather something useful for Nori. So he met his One's gaze and inclined his head towards the jewelers with a frown. He thought that the jewelers might deliberately be difficult, to put Bilbo in a bad light.</p><p>It seemed Bilbo agreed, because Bilbo gave Thorin a mischievous smile before turning down every one of their suggestions in the most politely irate way possible. Carek started sputtering when he realized that he had just been insulted.</p><p>Then the hobbit gathered parchment and charcoal to draw the design that he wished. Thorin watched over his One's shoulder as he drew a triangle with a small circle near its upper point. "Can jewels take this shape?" he asked the King softly.</p><p>"Yes, they can. An amethyst could be used as the mountain. Perhaps a small diamond for the moon." Thorin suggested.</p><p>"And a silver acorn at the edge of the mountain?" offered a young jeweler named Tras. The Dwarrow cautiously came over to the table to suggest, "Or would you like the grown tree?"</p><p>Bilbo smiled as he realized <em>someone</em> other than Thorin had understood his drawing. "I believe the acorn is better, as it is a sign we must grow."</p><p>Tras nodded and wrote a few runes on the parchment. He held up his fingers to indicate the size of the triangle he was thinking of. He willingly made the triangle smaller at Bilbo's request, to a point. "My Lord, if it smaller than this, you will not see the details. I believe those details to be important to you."</p><p>Bilbo looked to Thorin, who inclined his head in agreement. The hobbit sighed. "I have more knowledge of flowers than jewels. Very well. You may make the necklace."</p><p>The others jewelers started whispering amongst themselves, worrying the hobbit. In fact, it so worried him that he began to see orcs among the Dwarrow. Bilbo closed his eyes and tried to push the visions back.</p><p>He felt Thorin's arms come around him a moment later. Then a whisper in his ear. But it was not the King's.</p><p>"Do not trust Carek," the voice, Tras, whispered. "He could not have cracked a stone as big as those that protect the fires of the mountain. He rarely wields a tool bigger than a carving knife. But his brother, who died in the dragon fire, had been the Master Smith. Carek still has the smiths' ears."</p><p>Bilbo didn't acknowledge the voice in any way. But he did wait a few moments until opening his eyes. When he did, Tras had tucked away Bilbo's drawing and was now talking to a few other Dwarrow in the room. </p><p>Knowing that he was to act like he hadn't just been told a clue to their mystery, Bilbo turned to his love. "I should go find Ori. He has a book for me. Do you mind if I borrow Dwalin for the walk to the library?"</p><p>"Of course not. Do send him back when you meet Bofur for lunch."</p><p>Bilbo could see from Thorin's small smile that he was to inform both Nori and Bofur of this new development. He squeezes Thorin's hand to let him know he understood.</p><p>Bilbo sighed as he headed off with Dwalin at his back. It was good to feel useful again. But he couldn't help but feel a sense of dread about the circumstances that caused it.</p>
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